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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23708566">poor little vampire baby</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/meronicavars/pseuds/meronicavars'>meronicavars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Emmerdale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Blood Drinking, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Infidelity, Internalized Biphobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Outdoor Sex, Scars, Semi-Public Sex, Vampires, Werewolf Aaron, Werewolves, claws fangs the whole shebangs, it's consensual btw everyone's having a good time, lesbian liv flaherty, lesbian rebecca white, references to homophobic abuse, vampire robert, well she's questioning but this is a lesbian liv household because i am an intellectual</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:28:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>36,994</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23708566</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/meronicavars/pseuds/meronicavars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As far as the Dingles are concerned, there are no vampires in Yorkshire.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Rebecca White/OFC, past Robert Sugden/Rebecca White, side Robert Sugden/Chrissie White</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>177</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. perhaps vampires is a bit strong but...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>welcome to my child which i both regret but i can't tear myself away from. </p><p>robert and chrissie are already married; the whole arson business just doesn't exist because i didn't feel like dealing with everything that went with that, but aaron did run off to france with ed bc he's an impulsive gay and thought that relationship would last forever. which it did not, but we'll cover that in the fic.</p><p>i'll add more tags and characters as the chapters go up.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>There's a rumour in werewolf communities that you can smell a vampire from miles away. The putrid, unmistakable stench of death. You'll know when you smell it, they say; the rot wafting up, the scent of burning flesh in a house on fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As far as the Dingles are concerned though, there are no vampires in Yorkshire. Maybe if they go into Leeds, or take the hour and some drive to Manchester, they'd catch a whiff there. The rumour that vampires are city dwellers as opposed to the decidedly rural werewolves, also pervades the wolf clans, so if there are bloodsuckers in Yorkshire, they're certainly not in Emmerdale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In Emmerdale, the worst smell there is is manure, and that's easy to get used to when you brush elbows with farmers day in and day out. In all honesty, sometimes the Dingles wonder if vampires even exist. Maybe this is a world with only room for one creature of the night, and werewolves were the mighty winners of the honour. Or, depending on your persuasion, drew the short straw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron Dingle, upon returning from France where the werewolves are, according to Charity, pompous and bourgeois, is under the impression now that vampires are only a myth. A cautionary tale told to naughty little wolves when they'd misbehave. And the legend of the vampire scent was enough to scare the living daylights out of a young Aaron. But he's older now, and he didn't smell a thing while in France.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't believe in vampires anymore, but when he meets Robert, Aaron realizes the legends were right about one thing: You'll Know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert doesn't smell like death or rot or burning flesh. He's more metallic, salty, like the ocean. Like blood, supplies Aaron's brain, but wolves know blood and this is different. This is Robert and the scent is intoxicating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Sugdens haven't seemed to notice anything off about the newly resurfaced prodigal son, apart from the suspicious character development of Robert apparently settling down; but in their defense, they're human and none of the other wolves pay attention to him. If Adam's noticed anything, he hasn't said. Robert's irrelevant to the Dingles, but Aaron stumbles into him and unfortunately, Robert is overwhelming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, Aaron knows, but Robert still doesn't fall into any of the other vampiric stereotypes one hears. He walks about in broad daylight; he's pale, but he doesn't look particularly dead—Aaron has noticed flush in his cheeks, obvious freckles from the sun, bright, alive eyes. Aaron wants to know if he touches him, would he feel blood pumping? If he lays his hands on his chest, will his heartbeat vibrate through? He comes across very much alive, but again, Aaron knows. He just knows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time Aaron actually talks to Robert is at the garage. Sure, there's been pleasantries here and there, but Aaron keeps his distance and Robert never notices him—too preoccupied with family squabbles to pay mind to the grease monkey down the other end of the bar. Not that Aaron wants him to, of course. He's more suspicious of him than anything, given he's the only one in the village who seems to realize that there's anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> about Robert; but he's not interested, or attracted, or really all that bothered at all. Robert was a farmer's son who's got in with a posh family, and now is all smarmy pride and cold grins. From where Aaron's sitting, Robert's a right prick, but as long as he doesn't hurt Vic (the only person it seems he's got any respect or compassion for), then Aaron won't get involved. He's not his business, he's just a bloke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just an oil change," is what Robert says after pulling up in his Audi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No problem," Aaron replies. "Slow day. I'll get it done, and you can come round in a couple hours, yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Robert says. "Aaron, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah. Robert, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, but you knew that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whole village knows that, mate. You didn't barge in quietly."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Barge in? You know I'm from here, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Heard plenty."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, don't believe everything you hear."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not even from Vic?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's cocky smile turns softer and he shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd rather you listen to Vic than the rumour mill in the café."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Easier to trust Vic than the rumour mill in the café, anyway."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good. Wouldn't want you to think less of me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't think about you at all, mate," Aaron lies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Robert comes back in the evening, Aaron's shift is just about over. Robert pays, but hangs around, watching Aaron finishing up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You need summat?" Aaron says, undoing the top of his overalls and tying the sleeves around his waist. "'Cause me shift's done in five minutes. Ain't got time for owt else."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thought you might fancy a beer," Robert says. "As a thank you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's my job and you already paid."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're friends with Vic," Robert says. "Might as well get acquainted with who she hangs around with."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sounds a bit like summat a protective older brother would say," Aaron says. "Vic and me are just mates. You don't need to size me up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's not what I meant," Robert says, chuckling slightly. "And I know she's seeing Adam Barton, so I suppose you're out of the woods."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You already sized up Adam, then? He pass the test?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bit of an overexcited daft puppy—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's that supposed to mean?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"—</span>
  <em>
    <span>but</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he's all right."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And he's dead serious about Victoria."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can tell," Robert says. "So, that drink?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go on, then," Aaron relents. "Headed to the pub for tea anyway. Beer better be on you, eh."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron can't suss out the look Robert gives him then. Something masking something; and he doesn't know if he likes it. Or him for that matter. Maybe Robert isn't sizing him up, but that doesn't mean Aaron's not using this drink to figure out what his deal is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the Woolie, they get their pints, sit at the bar, and Robert ends up falling into an argument with Andy. He doesn’t know what it’s about, he doesn’t care. He just knows this was a bad idea. Robert’s deal is making trouble, especially for Andy, and when the opportunity strikes he’ll take it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, Aaron doesn’t necessarily listen to the rumours, but some of what they’re saying seems to be true. At least the bits about his relationship with Katie comes across as all too truthful. He’s a liar, a cheat, a cold and heartless vampire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron leaves Robert to fight with his brother and goes into the kitchen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vic’s buzzing away on various dishes, amazingly organized for how hectic she seems to be moving about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?” She says, looking up from swiftly chopping a cucumber and throwing them in a metal bowl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your brothers are rowing at the bar,” Aaron says. “Thought you’d wanna know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t,” she says. “I’m tired of havin’ to get in the middle of them. I mean, I’m more tired of the fightin’, but they really both live in their own little world and I’m done tryin' to get through to them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Vic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, me too,” she sighs, solemnly. “Was there summat else, or you just warnin’ me about my brothers bein’ muppets as usual?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was gonna have tea here, but might just head back to the Mill,” he says. “Get an early night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, you seem put out,” Vic says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robert asked to buy me a drink and he decided to start arguing with Andy, so, yeah I’m a fair bit put out,” Aaron says. “Great way to make friends. Air your dirty laundry through the Woolpack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be fair, I’d say the pub’s heard enough of the entire village’s bullshit, and we’ve still got plenty of friends, haven’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you stay friends with your brother,” Aaron says. “But as of right now, I’m not his mate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to try, obviously, but Adam’s sort of gettin’ along with him,” says Vic, moving on to a tomato. “So, I’d say, there’s still hope for yous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe away from Andy then, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise, deep down he’s really not that bad,” Vic says. “There’s just a lot of history. And they’ve both been really hurt. But Robert’s a good brother, and he seems to be a good husband. Which, you know, surprised the lot of us</span>
  <span>—him settlin’ down and with a step-son ‘n’all. He fights with Andy, but he has grown up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guess if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t be pleadin’ his case, would ya?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” Vic says, and points her knife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, don’t get carried away,” Aaron says, throwing his hands up. “Don’t need to threaten me into bein’ best mates with your mardy brother.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later in the week, Aaron’s at Adam and Vic’s for an impromptu get together because a pizza stone Vic had ordered weeks ago finally arrives and she has to try it out. Several Bartons, Sugdens, and Dingles are there attempting to fit themselves in the living room. It’s subdued despite the crowd, but it’s likely because everyone actually seems to be getting along. Andy’s not there, but Robert is, talking quietly with Diane, surprisingly not making a spectacle of himself. Aaron’s in the kitchen, nursing a beer, and chatting with Vic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, she’s talking and Aaron keeps getting distracted by Robert, sitting there, being quiet, and not drawing attention to himself. Everyone’s off in their own conversations, looking content, like none of them feel pulled to Robert. Robert’s lips are slightly downturned, focusing on what Diane’s saying. He smiles at something she says, and it’s a real smile, not one of those smirks he throws when he’s having a go. Robert’s different with Diane and Victoria. Almost happy. There’s still some sort of tension lingering there, but he’s more relaxed. Aaron doesn’t get him, but it’s also as if whatever’s going on with him is on the tip of his tongue. Something apart from hating the attention Andy got from their father, something apart from just being bitter at not being the golden boy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vic punches him in the arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ow, what?” he says, tearing himself away from staring at Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want another beer?” Vic says, a slow emphasis on each word. “I’ve asked ya three times. Where’s your head at?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Nowhere, sorry,” Aaron says. “Another beer would be great, Vic. Cheers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She passes him a fresh bottle and takes the empty, putting it on the counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just, you’ve been quiet most of the evening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, just tired,” he says. “Long day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it Ed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you never really told us why you two broke up,” Vic says. “You two seemed solid. You know, you don’t just run off to France with someone you don’t see a future with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who ran off to France?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Robert, leaning against the counter now, an inquisitive smirk on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This one,” Vic says, whacking her hand against his chest. “And then he ran back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You dumped your girlfriend in France to move back to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Emmerdale</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You moved back to Emmerdale,” Aaron counters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And into Home Farm,” Robert says. “I’m not exactly complaining.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Girlfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Vic says, ignoring their banter. “God, who was your last girlfriend?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holly,” Aaron answers, as Adam walks in to grab himself another beer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s so weird,” Vic says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, what’s weird is this lad almost kissing me while he was dating Holly,” Adam says. “Me sister, by the way, Robert. Aaron had no brains on him when he were seventeen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Robert laughs, clearly enjoying this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Count yourself lucky, Vic,” Aaron says. “If I hadn’t stopped meself, you might never have got Adam to shack up with ya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi there, mate, you know you’re dead jealous you could never get all this,” Adam says, grinning, pointing a finger at Aaron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, I’m devastated,” Aaron says, having heard it before, rolling his eyes amused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaaagh, I love you, mate, you know,” Adam crowds up beside Aaron, grabbing his chin and planting three quick kisses on Aaron’s cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron swats at Adam until he pulls away and just settles an arm around his best friend’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Couldn’t stand to be away from me,” Adam says, ruffling Aaron’s hair. “That’s why he dumped Ed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup, sorry, Vic,” Aaron says. “Came home to start up an affair with your boyfriend, hope you don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, as long as you share, I reckon it’s not a problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, babe, you know you’re the only one for me,” Adam moves around Aaron and pulls Vic against him to kiss her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron smiles at them, patting Adam’s back and begins to head out of the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods at Robert as he shoulders past him, but he’s stopped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surprise,” Aaron says, drily, and leaves the kitchen to go talk with Cain.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron’s getting sick of Robert. He almost feels like he’s following him. Robert’s eyes are always on him. It’s like Robert’s got some seething grudge against him, his eyes burning into the back of Aaron’s head whenever they’re both in the pub. When Aaron catches him and looks back, giving his best lifetime perfected dirty look, Robert looks scared for a split second, then appears put upon and looks away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron catches him while he’s washing his hands in the pub bathroom. Aaron just stands there, crossing his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright, mate?” Robert says, drying his hands and throwing the paper towel in the bin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is your problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re always starin',” Aaron says. “Are you lookin’ to get punched?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m… I’m not staring at you,” Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, come on, Robert,” Aaron spits. “Watchin'. Judgin'. You got a problem with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert smirks, shakes his head and says nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I was told werewolves were supposed to smell like wet dog.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Aaron sees red. He fists Robert’s ridiculous fucking floral shirt and backs him up against the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You what?” He growls up into Robert’s face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you don’t,” Robert says, holding onto Aaron’s hands where he’s tightly clutching Robert’s shirt. “You don’t. Actually, Chrissie was surprised when I told her there were wolves in Emmerdale, because she couldn’t smell a thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You better shut up,” Aaron grits out, then emphasizing his point with an extra push against Robert’s chest, “then do one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’d never met one before, see,” Robert says, as if he’s casually biding his time while being trapped against a wall. “Guess the rumours aren’t true. Although, it’s rather typical for vampires to lie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Robert pushes hard against Aaron, grabs at the zipper of Aaron’s hoodie, and flips them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gives Aaron his best shark grin and opens his mouth to continue, but Aaron looks up defiantly and it’s like Robert’s voice gets caught in his throat. Something flickers across his face, like confusion and want, and Aaron dips his eyes to Robert’s lips and then back up quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert swallows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron can see Robert blink down at his lips, and then he darts his eyes further—to his wedding ring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes go wide and he pulls away, leaving Aaron resting up against the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he whispers, backing away. “I’ll stop, erm, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay, mate,” he goes to him, rests a hand to his arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not your mate,” Robert spits, and pushes Aaron’s hand away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Aaron shakes his hand, scoffing, and pushes past Robert. “I get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t get anything,” says Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” Aaron says. “Doesn’t matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Robert grips his arm and pulls him back and </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s being kissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron kicks into gear, thinking </span>
  <em>
    <span>well, I haven’t fucked in the toilets in a while</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and hooks a finger into Robert’s belt and pulls him towards a stall. Not in the Woolie’s toilets before, but he's got off at Bar West a number of times. There hasn’t been anyone in Emmerdale regularly enough to warrant a quickie in this particular public bathroom, but Robert waltzes in and </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert’s slamming the stall door, locking it, and falling to his knees. Aaron looks down, watching Robert’s fingers get to work on his belt, then button, then zipper. This is going to be quick, dirty, and lacking grace, but Aaron wants him stupidly. He pushes his jeans and pants down, and Robert, pretty unceremoniously, grabs his cock and swallows him down. He rolls his head back against the stall wall, squeezing his eyes shut, bringing a sleeve-covered hand to the back of Robert’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s when Robert is digging his fingers into Aaron’s arse cheek and sucking the absolute life out of him, that it occurs to Aaron that vampires have fangs and he freezes. Robert seems to sense him tensing up and pulls away, looking up at him for the first time since he dropped to his knees. Robert’s lips are pink, swollen, spit-covered, and Aaron can’t help it</span>
  <span>—he pulls him up and kisses him, dragging his tongue over Robert’s upper teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No fangs. Incisors are maybe a bit more pointed, but not elongated. Aaron should’ve noticed when Robert smiled. He smiles a lot, flashing his big shark grin, cocky and sly; but all Aaron really saw was disingenuity. Whatever’s happening now, is real. Robert’s not smiling, but he’s devouring him, dragging his teeth over Aaron’s bottom lip, making him groan and grab at Robert's hand to get it back on his dick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They finally get Robert’s trousers undone and Aaron’s hand in his pants, both too aware of the venue and the possibility of being caught for the mutual handjobs to be anything but sloppy and chasing release as quickly as possible; but it feels more desperate than just sex in the toilets. Aaron supposes Robert’s married and he’s not getting it from his wife, or doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to, considering the way he’s putting his utmost attention into a simple handjob and kissing Aaron with all he’s got. Like he’ll never get this again. Like he’s never got this before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Aaron comes, he lets his claws retract a bit and digs them into the base of Robert’s neck making Robert moan, surprised, needy. Aaron speeds up his hand, jerking Robert hard and fast. He pulls Robert’s head back, needing to see him lose it, needing to see how he bites at his lip and tenses his shoulders, and flutters his eyes at Aaron, a brief flash of red glowing as he blinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” he says, encouraging Robert to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>something.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Come on,” he says again, more guttural, more urgent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that’s when Robert’s fangs come out, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that’s good. He likes that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He likes being able to push and have his partner push harder, because they can take each other’s strength, because they don’t have to hide their claws and fangs, and it feels fucking amazing. He’d stayed with Ed for a long time after he realized it was never going to last, but he kept holding back, lying, scared. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Ed with knowing, he certainly didn’t trust himself. Adam’s the only one he’s told the real reason he broke up with Ed: he was too bloody frightened of telling his boyfriend he was a werewolf. It even sounds stupid in his head. It’s been his whole life, a normality, but the problem still feels so ridiculous when he says it to himself. Who else had that problem? Every other wolf he knew made it work, or was with another werewolf, or just didn’t have an issue with not telling their partner such an intimate fact about themself. Aaron couldn’t tell Ed, and he couldn’t lie, so he came back to Emmerdale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He came back to a vampire jerking him off in the bogs and letting him dig his claws into his neck, and that’s what Aaron’s been missing. Freedom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moves his hand from Robert’s neck so he can stroke a thumb over Robert’s incisors, sharp, and glinting. Thumb still in his mouth, Aaron latches onto his bottom lip, and Robert comes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then someone slams the door open into the bathroom and Robert’s eyes go wide, terrified of being caught out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron presses a hand to Robert’s chest, and raises a finger to his lips, indicating to stay quiet. Although Aaron isn’t sure how quiet they can be, when they’re both breathing so heavily, eyes boring into one another, still </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanting</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Robert still looks scared, wanting to bolt but unable to; clearly scared of what it means that he’d just got off in the pub toilets with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>man</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The minutes move by glacially, with them staring at each other, feeling like they’ll never catch their breaths, feeling like whoever’s at the urinal will never leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, the door slams open again, whoever it was clearly not noticing the two men locked together in the far stall, and Robert scrambles to do up his trousers and get out of the stall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron resigns himself to whatever happens next. Robert running away, Robert asking for more, Robert bitching him out and storming off. He sighs and tears off some toilet paper and cleans himself up, then flushes it and goes about making himself look as presentable as possible. He pushes out of the stall and goes to wash his hands next to Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t done that before, have ya?” Aaron says, quietly, trying not to push his luck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Sex in a toilet with a werewolf?” Robert laughs, obviously attempting to not make a big deal of the situation, but failing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron hates how easy it is for him to read him. Robert doesn’t really come off vampiric physically, but he damn well acts it. Cold, manipulative, vengeful, but Aaron, against his better judgement and his own subconscious, he can see just how much Robert’s pretending. How fake he is or has to be, and he can see what’s beneath it. Bullies are always insecure, scared little boys behind the angry veneer, but there’s something more there with Robert. Something Aaron is loathe to admit he can see and understand and relate to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I’m saying, Robert,” Aaron says, softly. "Clearly never met a wolf before you came swannin' back here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, what about you?” Robert asks, refusing to actually broach the topic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t think vampires existed,” Aaron says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert says nothing, just dries his hands and Aaron follows suit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, just a one-off then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously,” Robert says and crosses his arms. “I love my wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron huffs a laugh, probably mocking himself more than Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Robert insists. “This was nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chrissie knows about this then?” Aaron says. “That you screw around with men.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t screw around with men,” Robert says, matter-of-factly. “I’m straight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron nods, “okay. Whatever you say, mate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And she doesn’t need to know about this,” Robert says. “One time thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” says Aaron. “I said already. Don’t wanna ruin your happy little life up on the hill. Won't happen again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert looks him up and down a moment, and then nods, and heads out of the bathroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Aaron goes back into the bar, Robert’s gone. He slinks into the backroom, grabs himself a beer and heads up to his room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s definitely going to happen again.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. you leapt the fence to chase the wolves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <i>Don't go in the woods.</i>
</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for the comments! i really appreciate it. </p><p>this chapter isn't as long as the first one, but i didn't want to do much else with it. it's robert's POV and covers a bit of back story so there is references to his father abusing him.</p><p>the chapter title is from sunday shoes by lady lamb, and i forgot to mention the fic title is from creepin' by hayley williams.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t go in the woods.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t go in the woods,” his father had said.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t go in the woods.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, when you live in the country on a farm, the woods are close. Sometimes the dogs run off, sometimes you’ve got to fetch firewood, sometimes you’re 15 and your dad’s caught you with a bloke and you don’t know where else to run. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t go in the woods, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>How far can you run if you can’t hide yourself away among the brush? How far can you run on a sprained ankle you hurt after tripping over a felled tree in the woods? How far can you run from his disappointed looks? His fists? His belt?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t go in the woods, Robert. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There are wolves in the woods</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a wolf on the farm. It wasn’t doing anything, just wandering in the field. Not feral, not vicious, just being. Sniffing along the ground, completely ignoring the sheep completely ignoring it. This, of course, was fascinating to Victoria, who was 6 and naturally curious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert, who had turned his back for a second to get a better chance of lighting his cigarette against the wind, was 14 and stupid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned back around, cig proudly lit, and Vic was nowhere to be seen. His stomach dropped and his brain went into high alert and he started spinning and spinning looking for his sister anywhere. His heart was beating out of is chest, his breathing was coming too fast, his thoughts were running a mile a second: </span>
  <em>
    <span>what if she's dead, dad's gonna kill me, what if she's dead, dad's gonna kill me, what if, dad, kill me, she's dead, dead, dead...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, he saw her ponytail in the distance, swinging back and forth as she ran. And then he saw the wolf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shit," he dropped the cigarette, he'd been crushing in his fingers and ran. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Victoria!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't go in the woods, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There are wolves in the woods. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They'll tear you limb from limb.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They'll eat you alive, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There are wolves in the woods, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your dad will be disappointed if you go in the woods, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your dad will hate you if you run with the wolves, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't go in the woods.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, Robert is 30, he's quit smoking, he's married, and he cannot stop thinking about wolves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, werewolves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meeting the Whites was serendipitous, but it was Robert's own cunning, smarts, ambition, and of course, flirting that got him into the family. He's not gonna lie, he came pretty close to sleeping with Lawrence; thinking he'd get more that way than anything, but thankfully Rebecca showed up from a spiritual retreat in Peru and Robert was far more attracted to her. He could take or leave the faux hippie personality, but when it was just them and no one was pretending, they got along, it was fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was easy and comfortable with Bex, but Robert couldn't take easy and comfortable. Robert couldn't be </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Robert couldn't fall in love and wholly trust and know the person he's with. Chrissie was not easy. Chrissie was not comfortable. Chrissie wasn't fun, he didn't trust her, she didn't trust him. Which probably made the sex great, come to think of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, Robert would grow to love Chrissie, although it was the making Lawrence jealous and having to fight for a place in the family that Robert loved. And at least he was feeling </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> when he was being devious and when he was cheating. And he definitely cheated. He definitely went down on Rebecca in the ladies' toilets at his engagement party. For old times sake, of course. Not because he missed her, or liked her more than Chrissie, or trusted her, or loved her in a way he didn't know he could. It was exciting to be bad was all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bex didn't come to the wedding. She had texted him the day of saying: </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wish you wouldn't do this</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I have to</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he texted back and they both knew it wasn't about the wedding, the commitment to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chrissie</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it was about the bite. It wasn't something Rebecca had ever wanted and it was clear when Robert had set his sights on Chrissie what he was in it for. Life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was what he was cut out for, after all. All that cunning, all those smarts, that sharp ambition would be doubled with the gift of eternal life, and if Robert wasn't bloodthirsty before… Well, he got married.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't talk to Bex for months. According to Lawrence, she was somewhere without phone reception and Robert would believe that if his texts weren't marked as read.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did not miss her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does not miss her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he's thinking about werewolves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Robert leaves the bogs, grabs his jacket from the bar, and heads back to Home Farm, he gets a text.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to talk to you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulls over to the side of the road and immediately calls her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bex, where have you been?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You haven't been worried, have you?" she says in that tone she has when she can tell that Robert has, of course, not been worried, just annoyed for having left him on read.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, if Chrissie and Lawrence had been worried, I'd be worried," Robert replies. "It's been complete radio silence since the wedding."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Excuse me for not wanting to see you throw your life away."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, is that what this is? Because from my perspective, I'm living forever."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And you're going to watch everyone you love grow old and die," she says. "Which is why I wanted to get in touch. I hear you've moved to your hometown."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A village, but yeah," he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You want to watch your family wither away while you stay young and beautiful forever, really?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Staying young and beautiful is worth it, isn't it?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'd think, wouldn't you?" Bex says, then she sighs. "Robert…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've watched plenty of my family die, Bex."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You really are a vampire now, aren't you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Absolutely," he says. "And loving every minute."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I'll be coming for a visit," she says. "With a couple guests and we'll see how that goes over."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A couple guests?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm married, Robert."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is not jealous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does not miss Rebecca.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loves his wife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can't stop thinking about werewolves.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't go in the woods</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hangs up on her, gets out of the car, goes into the woods, and screams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After he’s punched a tree and scraped his knuckles up it occurs to him: a couple guests. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A couple guests.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>So, Rebecca’s new husband and who? A second husband? Well, considering her stance on love and enlightenment it wouldn’t surprise him, but… He can’t figure it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He calls her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robert, let me guess,” Rebecca says upon answering. “You’ve got your delayed jealousy out of your system and have called to congratulate me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said you were bringing ‘a couple guests’,” he says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did,” she says, but doesn’t elaborate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your new husband has a kid or something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wife, Robert,” she says. “I married a woman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really not that hard to understand,” she says, the eye roll clear in her voice. “I met a woman, I fell in love, I realized I was a lesbian, and the rest is history.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A lesbian?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Again, also not hard to understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know then, Robert,” she says, softly. “You had to have known something wasn’t right. I wasn’t happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought it was the sneaking around,” he says. “I thought you didn’t want me to be turned.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want you to be turned,” Rebecca says. “But I didn’t really want you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Elegant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rebecca, if I ever pressured you or</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Robert, you didn’t,” Rebecca assures him. “You’re a wanker, but always a complete gentlemen when it came to sex. Ridiculous, really. I thought I wanted you because you made sense and you were unattainable in the long run. I knew there wasn’t a future and I clung to that and you for a while because of it. But I was lying to myself, you understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does not miss Rebecca.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really miss you, Bex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Get out of the woods, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There are wolves in the woods</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see me soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the wife.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My son.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your </span>
  <em>
    <span>son</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid so,” she says, then there’s talking in the background on her end and: “Look, I’ll be coming in the next couple weeks and we’ll talk more then. Please don’t tell dad and Chrissie I came out to you, they don’t know yet. I want to do it in person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you couldn’t wait to tell me, eh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I missed you too,” she says. “I have to go. Bye, Robert.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye, Bex.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hangs up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What the fuck?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Get out of the woods, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Before the wolves come.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets up, arse covered in dirt, knuckles bloody and throbbing, and heads back to his car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flexes his fingers over the steering wheel a couple times, watching his knuckles heel over. It takes longer than usual. He hasn’t drunk in a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wonders what Aaron’s blood would taste like. If werewolf blood is even safe to drink. Even without the blood, Aaron is bad for him. He knows. One time thing. Can’t go back there.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t go back to the woods, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The wolves are coming home.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gee, I Wonder Who Rebecca's Son Could Be.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. wipe off that grin, i know where you've been</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“She probably trusts you.”<br/>“She shouldn’t.”<br/>“You reckon?”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>consistent chapter lengths? hilarious.</p><p>title is from in the air tonight by phil collins bc why the fuck not amirite lads?</p><p>thanks to the best friend ryan helping me not sound like an idiot in the writing of british people. i try very hard and sometimes can fool people but then i use words like "really" and ryan's like Are You Sure About That? so you kno... a learning experience... but for horny vampire/werewolf au fanfiction.</p><p>ANYWAY. so it's clear, because i don't plan on going into depth about it at all, gordon's trial is over and done with by at least a few years. he's dead. good riddance. he probably got shanked in prison like he deserves. praise jesus, hallelujah. there are references to self-harm and aaron scars show up in this chapter. these were things i didn't want to do away with for i think various and some obvious reasons that i'm not gonna get into here, but i'm sure y'all get it right we're gay and enlightened we've dealt with shit anyway</p><p>on with the show.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Aaron’s restless. He doesn’t like sleeping in an empty house. The mill is too big, too open, too easy to get lost in when you’re the only one there. He stays at the pub when Liv’s away, and usually it helps. He likes that there are bodies behind every door, that his mum is close by, that the pub is a home away from home, comfortable and welcoming. He still doesn’t like it when Liv’s away though; likes it better when she’s close enough that he can watch out for her, protect her. It's still too soon off coming back from France to be separated from her, even though he was the one who fucked off in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s definitely still guilty about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can’t sleep when he’s feeling guilty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He checks his phone for the time and groans when it reads 2:03 AM. He rolls out of bed and pulls on a hoodie and goes downstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s noise in the kitchen and at first Aaron puts his guard up, flicks his claws out, gets ready.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then he smells it. Salty ocean air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He retracts his claws, stuffs his hands in his hoodie pockets and shoulders his way through the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert’s just sat down at the table, bottle of whiskey in hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaron,” he says, not looking up, just pouring his whiskey into a glass. “I could smell you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What you doin’ here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Couldn’t sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not just find summat to do at your big house?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you? Don’t you live at Mill Cottage?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still got a room here,” Aaron says, sliding into a chair across from Robert. “Use it from time to time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boyfriend kick you out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t got a boyfriend, mate,” Aaron says. “Wouldn’t have let you kiss me if I had.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that a dig?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert huffs something between a laugh and scoff and gets up to grab a glass for Aaron and then sits back down to pour one out for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron takes the glass and drinks slowly, just watching Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look who’s starin’ now,” Robert says. “Sure you’re not the one with the problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no problem,” Aaron answers. “Just don’t get ya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you’re not the only one,” Robert sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can talk to me if you want,” Aaron says, surprising himself a bit when he says it. “I won’t judge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although he can't promise anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert shoots back his glass and squeezes his eyes shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he opens them there are tears, and Aaron wouldn’t exactly call himself a bleeding heart, but there's something about Robert... Well, he can't just leave him to suffer alone. Especially not when Aaron thinks he knows what's going on with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t push ya, but I find talking about it can help,” Aaron says. “Dealt with me fair share of trauma to figure that out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I’m traumatized?” Robert says, bitterly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, but you’re not happy. Anyone with half a brain can see that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think they can,” Robert says. “You know, don't ya? I'm just an arrogant chancer who doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well," Aaron says, trying a smile. “You can be those things and still be unhappy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My ex got married."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She texted me today, or yesterday… what time is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After 2.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yesterday. After we…” he trails off and gestures a hand between the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After we had sex in the bogs, yeah,” Aaron says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t spoken to her in months and out of the blue I get a text and…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I call her and… she tells me she's got a wife."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good for her," Aaron says, because what the fuck else is he gonna say?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She's a lesbian now apparently."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, well, she was always a lesbian, just hadn’t figured it out yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know, I</span>
  <span>—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno what you want from me here, Robert. I'm not gonna say sorry your ex-girlfriend’s gay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That's not the issue,” Robert says. “I don’t care that she’s gay, I’m—I’m happy for her for figuring it out, but… She came out to me first. Not to Lawrence or Chrissie, her actual family. She told </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, wait, your ex is your in-law?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chrissie’s sister, Rebecca, yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does Chrissie know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heh, no," he says. "She thinks Bex and I went on a date once and it didn't work out, but… y'know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, the entire time you’ve been with Chrissie, you were carryin' on with her sister? You’re a piece of work, you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Believe me, I know,” Robert laughs humourless, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I know she loves her family. She’s not a fan of the whole vampire thing, but she loves them. Why would she tell me first?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She probably trusts you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She shouldn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You reckon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They drink in silence for a while, another shot between them, until Robert grabs the bottle and goes to the kitchen</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love my wife,” Robert says finally, after he’s put the bottle of whiskey away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, y'said,” Aaron says, following Robert into the kitchen and putting the glasses in the sink. “But you proper loved her, didn’t you? Rebecca.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're jealous, Robert. It's pretty obvious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s learned to be honest with herself, comin' out,” Aaron explains. “You ever done that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert grabs the front of Aaron’s hoodie and pushes him against the counter. And that's something Aaron likes: having a guy manhandle him a little, tower over him, and look down at him </span>
  <em>
    <span>like that</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert’s fangs descend and Aaron wants to laugh, roll his eyes. Make fun of him and goad him into doing something intrinsically vampiric.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, that’s how it’s gonna be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert shoves a knee between Aaron’s legs and pushes closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” he says, decision clear. So, he brings his claws out and hooks them into the front of Robert’s shirt, piercing through the fabric. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This shirt was expensive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what ya gonna do about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert’s eyes flick between Aaron’s face and his neck and Aaron smiles wider.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do it,” he says. “You can’t actually hurt me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron digs his claws into Robert's chest through his shirt and Robert presses his thigh firm against Aaron's crotch so he can rock against him. The house is dead silent, but for the sounds of their breathing growing heavier between them and the agonizingly slow scratch of Robert unzipping Aaron's hoodie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the hoodie drops to the floor, Aaron’s shirt comes off and his scars are on display.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s not going to be self-conscious. He’s not going to let Robert judge him. He stands there, in the dark, Robert pressed against him and looking down at his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert blinks and then his eyes are red, wandering up and down Aaron’s torso.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t heal?” he says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not what I get in human form,” Aaron juts his chin out, defiant, waiting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert blinks again and his eyes are back to normal, but they’re glowing. He maintains eye contact as he slowly bends down and begins grazing his teeth across Aaron’s skin and pressing open mouthed kisses over his scars, all the way down his chest and stomach until Robert’s finally knelt down on his knees and he’s looking up at Aaron, reverent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron doesn’t know what to do with him then. After Robert’s not interrogated him, or judged him, but touched him, mouth to skin wanting. He feels both powerful and exposed, unsure of what he wants next apart from Robert </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robert Robert</span>
  </em>
  <span> enveloping him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He brings a hand down to drag his thumb over Robert’s teeth, the memory of doing the same thing in the toilet stall flashing through his brain, and presses the pad up against Robert’s fang until he draws blood. Robert’s eyes go wide, and he grips at Aaron’s wrist and sucks his thumb further into his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And they’re still just… staring at each other, unable to look away, too caught up in whatever they’re seeing in each other’s eyes—animalistic, monstrous </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron slides down until he’s on his knees in front of Robert who’s still swiping his tongue over Aaron’s thumb in his mouth. Aaron hooks his thumb behind Robert’s bottom teeth and pulls him closer, then draws it out and over Robert’s lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanted to bite me,” Aaron says, raspy and quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert gives him a staccato nod, looking away finally to trail his gaze across Aaron’s neck to his clavicle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gonna wait all night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you already,” Aaron brings a hand around to the back of Robert’s head, fingers tight in his hair, and pulls him closer so they’re nose to nose. “Do it.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>when i was sending bits of this to ryan one time he was like "THE HOODIE" and i was like jeez ikr.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. i'm gonna get so drunk on you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>Don't go in the woods</i>, his father had told him.</p><p>But, God, now that he’s there he never wants to leave.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>that's all.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>So, werewolf blood makes vampires high. To be more specific, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Aaron's</span>
  </em>
  <span> blood makes </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robert</span>
  </em>
  <span> high. Robert doesn't know if it does a thing for sustenance, but he sure does like it. He's sucking at Aaron's collarbone and Aaron's in his lap. They're rocking together on the kitchen floor and Robert feels euphoric and </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Aaron's hand is in his pants and he's seeing stars, unable to keep his red eyes from flashing against Aaron's shoulder every time he blinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's gonna blow him after this, he thinks licking over the bite and up a pulsing vein in Aaron's neck. He's gonna sit Aaron on the counter and blow him until his lips and tongue have gone numb and the only thought in his brain is </span>
  <em>
    <span>Aaron</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could one person do this to him so quickly? And where does Aaron get off being that person? Robert's angry. He's fucking livid that Aaron could pick him apart piece by piece and lay him out bare like this with how little a time they've known each other. And that it was so easy for him to ignore Robert's shallow words and jump in the deep end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>How </span>
  <em>
    <span>dare</span>
  </em>
  <span> he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulls Aaron closer and kisses him fiercely, trying to get across just how furious he is at him with every suck and nip at Aaron's lips. But with Aaron's tongue in his mouth, Robert finds it difficult to actually be...furious. He's too caught up in his mouth and the way Aaron's jerking him off, quick slick strokes up towards his belly, to be angry rather than driven insane. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He comes in Aaron’s hand, body alight and buzzing, biting down on Aaron’s shoulder so he won’t cry out and wake the house. Aaron groans into Robert’s hair at the bite and Robert is quick to lick at the wound, soothe it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?” he whispers against Aaron’s skin, lips trailing across his shoulder and up his neck to kiss across his jaw, up his beard until he’s a breath from Aaron’s lips. “What do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t finish that blowjob earlier,” Aaron says, leaving a soft kiss against Robert’s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t let me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was a bit worried about the fangs,” Aaron confesses, and Robert’s eyes go red, glowing against Aaron’s face in the dark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got pretty good control over them, you don’t have to worry,” Robert says, making a show of retracting his fangs and Aaron watches, heavy-lidded and turned on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see that,” Aaron breathes, and moves up off Robert’s lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert’s hands drift down Aaron’s legs as Aaron pulls down his pajama bottoms and then kicks them away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Robert gets Aaron up on the counter, spreads his legs, and puts his mouth on Aaron’s dick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert’s thought about sucking cock a lot. Repressed and dissociative, he’d try and get rid of the thoughts by looking at women, flirting with women, sleeping with women. In marrying Chrissie, he thought he’d saved himself in a way. He wouldn’t cheat once he was married, he wouldn’t think about anyone but Chrissie. There would be no more chance of want or desire. And sex with Chrissie is good. Great. He loves her. He’s not missing anything. Chrissie is enough. She’s enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But with Aaron’s thighs around his head, Aaron’s claws in his hair, Aaron’s cock heavy on his tongue, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Aaron Aaron Aaron</span>
  </em>
  <span> challenging him and wanting him and letting him </span>
  <em>
    <span>be</span>
  </em>
  <span> after midnight in a kitchen with people asleep upstairs. He fully and maybe stupidly trusts him, but he can’t stop. He doesn’t want to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron chokes out that he’s going to come and Robert finishes him off with his hand, biting and sucking at his thighs. Aaron comes with a deep and guttural growl, his claws scraping across Robert’s head and through his hair. He looks up at Aaron from between his thighs and Aaron looks down at him contentedly, sated, eyes bright. Robert’s still high, feeling like he’s floating and so alive. More alive than he’s felt since even before he became a member of the undead.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't go in the woods</span>
  </em>
  <span>, his father had told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, God, now that he’s there he never wants to leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the day before Valentine’s Day when Rebecca shows up, unannounced apart from a text to Robert saying to make sure everyone’s home for noon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing Bex again is like a breath of fresh air. Considering Robert's current roommates are uptight, shrill, and a weird teenager, anyone else moving in would probably be a nice refresher; but Bex really is an antithesis to the rest of her family. Bex is fun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she loves to make an entrance. Wife in hand and baby on arm, she storms Home Farm unapologetically. Rebecca does not do things by halves, to which Robert is grateful, but the shouting match in the kitchen leaves a lot to be desired. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You've been in contact all these months and didn't think once to mention that you're pregnant?" Chrissie says, teetering on the edge of shouting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm also a lesbian," Bex says, defiantly, clutching her son to her chest. "Would love to hear what you think about that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>," Chrissie spits. "Is this not the new hobby of the month? It has to be all about you, doesn't it? I can never have my day!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bex takes a moment, breathes, and then passes the baby to her wife.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert, why don't you show Emma and Seb around the village while I talk to Dad and Chrissie?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truthfully, Robert wants to stay and see how this resolves, but Bex, of course, is right: Emma and the baby don't need to be subjected to the Whites' antics.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods and ushers Rebecca's wife out of the kitchen and to the front door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And you've got my husband on side as well?" Robert hears Chrissie complain, before heading outside. "Typical."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Lawrence was quiet," Emma says, after they've settled in Rebecca's car. Robert at the wheel and Emma in the back beside Seb in his carseat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma Nightingale is American, athletic, undercutted brown hair up in a top knot, she doesn't seem like Bex's type… But Robert supposes he wasn't exactly Rebecca's type either. And she </span>
  <em>
    <span>married</span>
  </em>
  <span> Emma. Well, Robert also supposes, that's got to mean something. Probably that he didn't know Bex as well as he thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lawrence isn't exactly comfortable around gay people," Robert says, starting the car and heading down the drive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is Bex gonna be okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should know as well as I do she can hold her own," he says. "And anyway, it's not exactly homophobia, it's more… jealousy, let's say."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, I see," Emma says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not a secret," Robert explains. "It's just not something we talk about."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the Woolpack, Robert goes about making introductions, although he doesn't really know how.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is my sort of sister-in-law," is what he says to Diane and Vic, who are behind the bar and mostly just excited to see a baby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm his sister-in-law's wife," Emma says, holding her hand out for Diane and Vic to shake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seb is in a trekker across Emma's front, dozing away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think sister-in-law makes sense," Vic says. "Sister-in-law-in-law."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In-law-in-law?" Robert laughs. "Seems a bit of a mouthful. May as well just call her Emma."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think I can handle that," Emma says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Emma</span>
  </em>
  <span>," Diane says. "Can I get you anything to drink?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just a water is fine for now," Emma says. "Thought I'd sit down and feed the little guy. Bex'll probably text us when it's safe to head back."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Welcome to the horror show that is the White family, truly, Emma," Robert says, now they're sitting at a table and Emma's bottle-feeding Sebastian.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You married into it too," Emma says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, don't remind me," Robert says as Aaron walks in and his eyes drift towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron gives him a friendly nod, betraying nothing, and then parks himself at the bar and orders a beer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's crazy how much he wants him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll just have to stick together, I guess," Emma says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess so," he replies. "Though, Chrissie isn't as bad as she seems. I think she's more bothered by Rebecca not being in contact for months, than she is about anything else."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I mean, I get being mad her sister for not telling her about getting married and being pregnant," Emma says. "But she did come across a little homophobic. She has no idea how hard it was for Rebecca to come to terms with being gay."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I don't think it's exactly something she understands."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess it also explains why it took so long for her to come out to herself," Emma says and then lowers her voice. "Closeted dad, selfish sister. Where was the positive representation she needed?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, she found you, didn't she?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma blushes slightly, looks down at Seb, who's looking up at her with big curious blue eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know how much I did," she says, stroking a hand over her son's head. "I just fell in love."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She looks happy, Emma," Robert says. "The last time I saw her… Well, I don't remember a time I've known her where she seemed proper happy. It's down to you, that. And I…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can thank me, it's alright," Emma says, quirking an eyebrow. "I know you care about her. She did tell me everything."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Robert says, feeling suddenly overexposed. "Well, thank you, I suppose. It's good to see her like this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He excuses himself to the bathroom and he catches Aaron's eye on his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey," Aaron says, when they're standing in the bogs, awkwardly facing each other. "You alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's, erm, Rebecca's wife out there," he says, hands firm in his pockets. "And their son."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She's really nice," Robert says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know she's a werewolf, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What, you couldn't tell?" Aaron asks. "Dead obvious, if you ask me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, it would be to you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Should be to you as well, mate," Aaron says. "You got keen senses on you, don't ya?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Haven't spent enough time with werewolves, I reckon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Spent enough time with me," Aaron counters, a mischievous smirk on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're different."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not really."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, you are," Robert says. "Because you smell like you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That supposed to be romantic?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like how you smell."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Smooth."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's true, though," Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Soft lad today, eh?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Make me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, Robert doesn't have to be told twice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He backs Aaron up against the wall, excitement radiating through him. It's been a few days, so being close to Aaron is making him lose his mind. He kisses him hard, pulling at the sleeves of Aaron's overalls tied around his waist. Aaron bites at his bottom lip making Robert groan and become acutely aware he needs to cut this short.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulls away, Aaron chasing after his lips, but Robert pushes him back and presses their foreheads together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't have time for anything else, Aaron," Robert murmurs, finding it devastatingly hard to look away from Aaron's lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They've been sleeping together for nearly a month and it's never enough. He constantly wants more of Aaron, anywhere and all time. He wants to tell the entire village how he can't get this man out of his head. How he's never felt this way before. How he craves him more than he's ever craved anything. More than the excitement he pursued as a teen, more than the money he's coveted through his career, more than blood. Maybe it's the cold feeling of their relationship being distinctly taboo; Robert loves danger and the adrenaline that comes with it, but he's also been so constantly ruled by fear, that can't be it. Those moments where he's with Aaron and there's no risk of being caught out, when they can take their time, when Robert can lay Aaron out and open him up and fuck him until they can't remember their own names—those times just feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And it would be so easy to tip that into romance. It would be so easy to fall in love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's Valentine's tomorrow," Robert breathes as Aaron tries to kiss him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, what about it?" Aaron tries to say non-chalantly, but it doesn't really come across that way when Aaron's breathing is so heavy and he's looking up at Robert with want clear in his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Obviously, I have to spend the night with Chrissie, but," he says, then lets Aaron kiss him, a slow drag of lips before he pulls away again. "</span>
  <em>
    <span>But</span>
  </em>
  <span>, maybe during the day we can meet at the barn."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Guess you are tryna be romantic, eh?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Robert lies. "Just haven't touched you in a few days."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're touchin' me now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know what I mean."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I know what you mean," Aaron says, then leans back further against the wall to get a good look at Robert. "I'll try to get away if I can, but I'm the only one workin' at the garage who's single, so I take over for the married fellas."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd say we could meet up tonight, but Bex just got here and Chrissie is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> happy about the gay thing, the married thing, or the baby thing," Robert says. "So, I'm gonna have to play mediator, because I'm apparently the only one who likes both of them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't find it weird that you're gonna have to be a go between for your wife and her sister who is your ex, who you were sleeping with while you were engaged to your now wife?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, it's very weird, but that whole scenario isn't exactly relevant," Robert says, sighing. "Rebecca just wants her family to accept her. And she's finally happy. I guess… I want them all to get along and be happy for her. Like I am."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I get it," Aaron says softly and then kisses him just as tender. "Just text me, yeah? Or if you get some time on your own tonight, call me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" Robert says, suddenly grinning, and gripping Aaron's hips tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Aaron says, darkly, and Robert knows he's teasing him. Daring him to stay longer, daring him to fuck him up against the wall here in the bathroom, daring him to take him to the pub backroom so he can drink his blood and get high on him while Aaron rides him—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he really should be getting back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he joins Emma back at the table she looks at him suspiciously and says, "you took your time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, sorry, got talking with a mate," Robert replies, chancing a look over to where Aaron's come back into the bar looking… rumpled, to say the least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma follows his gaze and raises her eyebrow inquisitively, but doesn't comment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, Bex texted," she says. "We should head back over and get settled in. Hopefully, we'll be playing happy families by dinnertime."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>also i do actually recommend following me on twitter bc i post sneak peeks and also try to explain certain things like timeline and stuff. and like obvs updates on how writing is hard. </p><p>anyway next chapter is aaron's POV obviously and will likely include a large time skip.</p><p>title for this chapter is from vampire smile by kyla la grange. (all titles are from songs in the playlist i posted in the first chapter)</p><p>OH YA AND THE HIGH ROBERT GETS... it's like a good weed body high and makes him extra alert like it's the kind of weed that's rlly good for sex ya kno wat im sayin. ok bye.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. warm blood feels good, i can't control it anymore</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>At some point Aaron is going to come to the unpleasant conclusion that he loves Robert, and his stupid, selfish, insatiable desire will become need. He doesn't know when it'll happen, but he can feel it coming on, and fuck… He thinks it might be soon.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title is from warm blood by carly rae jepsen. ayyyy canadiana.</p><p>robert and aaron might be bitches to each other in this chapter. like really hit where it hurts. i mean sometimes it just be like that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Valentine’s Day comes and goes and they don’t get a chance to meet up until the day after and even then it’s just quick handjobs in Robert’s car while parked in a layby. The days afterwards are a whirlwind of activity. Liv’s birthday and then his mum’s birthday; meanwhile, Robert seems to be babysitting a lot while Rebecca and Emma get to know the village. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trying to find the time to see each other plus wanting more than a quick fuck every now and then in the barn or the bogs is really starting to do Aaron’s head in. Phone sex isn't good. Texting isn't worth it. Not when Robert isn't actually waiting for him. Not when Robert won't walk in the door at the end of the work day and say something stupid like "honey, I'm home!". </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jesus, he wants them to have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>home</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Together. It's been barely a month, but Robert is buried so deep under Aaron's skin he can feel him when they're apart. The days on end when they don't even cross paths, Robert's there like a brand. Aaron wonders idly if it's because Robert's a vampire, because he's tasted Aaron's blood, making him truly part of him now. Or maybe it's just Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it's the way he pushes Aaron against the wall and roughly pulls his thigh up around his waist and kisses him like it's the last time. Maybe it's the quiet moments when they talk and Robert is honest, when he whispers against Aaron's skin as he wraps himself around him. Maybe it's because Aaron can see a part of Robert he doesn't let anyone else see. Maybe being privy to someone's deep, dark secrets is intoxicating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron wants more of it all, but even in all those intimate, soft moments, Robert is still diligently cold. He doesn't want more, not the way Aaron does. There's no way he'll leave his wife. Certainly not for a scarred and emotionally damaged werewolf mechanic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, Aaron will take what he can fucking get.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks at the life Robert has and he wonders why the fuck Robert would even make the time to see him. Why he calls past midnight just to tell him how much he's thinking about Aaron's cock. Why he texts in the middle of the day to say he wants to finger Aaron and see if he comes untouched. Why would he keep coming back?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's got the whole world at his fingertips because of the Whites. What else is there that he could possibly want?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is painfully obvious though that this thing is selfish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Aaron can tell selfishness is one of Robert's defining traits, but pairing with the indulgence and scratching an itch he'd never done before, it's more selfish than he's ever been. Selfish because Robert is married, has a life carved out for himself that provides security and money and privileges he can only entertain through the Whites. Robert shouldn't want Aaron, but he's selfish and can't help taking what he wants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Aaron is just as selfish. Self-obsessed and needy; never feeling more complete than when Robert has him on his back or on his knees, when he sinks his teeth into his collarbone and gets high on Aaron's blood. Aaron knows Chrissie, likes her even, and he cares that the affair will hurt her. He cares that one day it inevitably will come tumbling down and Chrissie will get caught under all the rubble. He cares, but there's no reason he </span>
  <em>
    <span>shouldn't</span>
  </em>
  <span> want Robert. Aaron should do as he bloody well likes. Want is ripe for the taking where Aaron is concerned, but he shouldn't indulge Robert's selfishness. But who said anything about Aaron not indulging his own? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Awfully selfish. But Robert needs this. And he needs to know it's okay to want Aaron. That there's nothing wrong with that. He shouldn't cheat, but he should want men and he should be honest about that. He should know that fantasies can be real and tangible and Aaron can provide them in full supportive force.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert shouldn't feel ashamed for the feather light kisses he lays down Aaron's spine. Robert shouldn't feel ashamed for loving the weight of Aaron's cock on his tongue. He shouldn't feel ashamed for kissing Aaron's lips, jaw, neck, stomach, arse. He shouldn't feel ashamed. He should just be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point Aaron is going to come to the unpleasant conclusion that he loves Robert, and his stupid, selfish, insatiable desire will become need. He doesn't know when it'll happen, but he can feel it coming on, and fuck… He thinks it might be soon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oi, you listenin'?" Adam says, throwing a cinnamon heart at Aaron's head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know Valentine's was two weeks ago," Aaron says, by way of answer. "What you doing with them?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Leftovers, innit," Adam says, and throws another one at Aaron who swerves and catches it in his mouth. "Nice."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They're in the pub and Adam is trying to talk to him about </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but he keeps getting distracted by Robert at the bar with Rebecca. He looks happy. Or at least relaxed, which Robert isn't usually apart from when he's got Aaron on his back in the barn after they've fucked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay, he can't be thinking about that right now. What was Adam saying?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Problem with Ross, was it?" Aaron asks, hoping that's it—that's usually it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For once, no," Adam says. "You alright, mate?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I'm fine," Aaron says, shrugging, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> glancing over at Robert who's laughing with his head thrown back and his neck stretching out…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ah, fuck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, 'cause when people say they're fine that's always exactly what they mean," Adam says. "Is it your mum?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, Mum's good," Aaron says, then swivels around in his chair to look at where Chas is happily pulling pints. "See, look at her, proper happy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Work?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on, mate," Adam says, a bit of a sigh, in that insistent empathetic way of his. "You ain't been right for weeks."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Full moon," Aaron mumbles, knowing he's gonna be caught out in that lie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam gives him a look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Full moon was on the 10th," Adam says. "It's the 28th now. Next one's not 'til April. You've got a massive window of normality before the turf wars start up again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What d'you want me to say, Adam?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want you to tell me what's wrong," Adam says. "You know you can talk to me, right? Like proper talk. Feelings, cryin', the lot. I got you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do I seem like someone into feelings and cryin'?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, you cry all the time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You do! You cried at </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rocknrolla</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That's not a sad film!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just like Tom Hardy 'n' all."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You tellin' me Tom Hardy playin' gay in a Guy Ritchie film made you cry? He's not even your type."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How d'you know what my type is?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam grins and frames his face with his hands, "Oh, y'kno, beard, fit, devastatingly handsome, gives the best hugs."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sounds just like Tom Hardy in </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rocknrolla</span>
  </em>
  <span>, if you ask me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't know he gives good hugs, but you got years of experience from this one."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron throws a cinnamon heart at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"See, if you didn't love me you wouldn't be throwin' cinnamon hearts at me," Adam says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then you better stop throwin' 'em at me, mate. You're gonna give me the wrong idea."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam throws a couple more at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey!" It's Vic coming round the bar to their table. "Can yous stop throwin' stuff at each other. I'm gonna have to clean this up at the end of the night."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nah, babe, Aaron's professin' his undyin' love for me through the only medium he knows how."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"By tossin' cinnamon hearts at my boyfriend?" Vic says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He started it," Aaron says, becoming acutely aware that Robert and Rebecca, both looking terribly amused, have turned to look at them three.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are yous five years old?" Vic asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think they're at least seven," Robert calls over and catches Aaron's eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron swears he winks at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teasing piece of shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants him so bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron does not know how to get Robert up to his room without drawing very obvious attention, especially during midday in a packed pub. He could text him, but Adam is right there and will ask who he's texting and, because he knows Aaron so well, he'll figure out it's a guy; and then, of course, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Robert's phone</span>
  </em>
  <span> will buzz, which Adam might not realize means anything, but when Aaron gets up to leave and Robert follows shortly after, that's when Adam will connect the dots. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, texting Robert is off the table. Obviously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is it a guy then?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What, no, nothing, what?" Aaron says, Adam pulling him from his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron looks around and sees that Vic's gone back to the kitchen and Emma's showed up with the baby, so Robert and Rebecca are thoroughly distracted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, mate, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span>," Adam says, grinning from ear to ear. "You got a new bloke and you didn't tell me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Keep your voice down," Aaron says through clenched teeth. "Mum'll be all over me if she finds out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She'll be pleased for ya."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know, and she'll wanna know everythin'."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanna know everythin'."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I know, it's just..." Aaron pauses and flexes his hand around his beer glass. "Complicated."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing Adam won't let it go, and knowing if he doesn't fucking talk about it with someone, he's going to explode, Aaron relents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not here," he says, and jerks his head to indicate they head to the backroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He's not out," is what Aaron says first, thinking he may as well work his way up to the most pertinent information.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay," Adam says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm pretty sure he's bisexual, but he keeps denyin' it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I know what it was like for you, eh. Pushin' it just made ya feel worse."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is different. I mean, you know how long we've been seein' each other? Or, well, really it's just sex, but...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How long?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Month and a half. And the amount of times he's told me he's straight. Right after we've… y'know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He just needs time."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There's more."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's married."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Mate</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's so unhappy and I dunno how to make him see he doesn't have to be."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know this can't end well, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I know."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I can dream though</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He goes home and texts Robert. Liv's at school. He wants him. He doesn't care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's very unlikely that there's any good way this affair can go. What with Robert's incessant need to turn everything into a conflict. He just can't help it, he has to make everything so much harder for himself. And it's not like Aaron who bottles stuff because he thinks it'll make things easier when it actually makes everything so much worse; Robert loves stirring the pot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kicking off with Andy every chance he gets, openly winding up Katie in the middle of the pub, being petty just for the fun of it because Robert is bitter and vengeful and full of it. And he's just not a very nice person in general.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Robert gets to the Mill he sneaks round the back and Aaron pulls him in. They stumble up the stairs, narrowly avoiding falling down the winding steps, unable to keep their hands off each other, pulling clothes off and tossing them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron seriously needs to ask himself what it is about Robert that keeps him coming back for more, because he's starting to run out of reasons to stick it out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Aaron can see him. And he doesn't know that anyone else can. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is so bloody screwed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron's starving for a touch of romance, or maybe possession, so he </span>
  <em>
    <span>needs</span>
  </em>
  <span> Robert in bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time they get to the bedroom they're naked, clothes strewn down the hall. Aaron moves away from Robert </span>
  <em>
    <span>slowly</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so Robert's eyes go dark, watching as Aaron climbs onto the bed and lays down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We haven't done this in a bed before," Robert says, crawling up Aaron's body. "What's the occasion."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No occasion," Aaron says, breathless, and grabs Robert's face to kiss him, hungrily, desperately, and roll them over so he can straddle Robert's stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert immediately grabs his arse, digging his fingers in deep, and pulling Aaron tight against him. He reaches his head up to Aaron's neck, but Aaron pushes him back and sits up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No biting," he says, and reaches over to the side table and pulls out lube and a condom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He takes Robert's hand and pours some lube into his palm and then tosses the bottle on the bed. He smears the lube up Robert's fingers, getting them good and wet, and then he leans down and kisses the inside of Robert's wrist. Aaron looks him in the eyes, intently, burning, and then guides Robert's hand between his legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert sits up, wraps his free arm around Aaron's lower back, and slides a lubed up finger inside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's all kind of a blur from there. One finger turns into two then into three, and then finally Aaron's rolling the condom on, lining himself up over Robert's dick and sinking down. Robert's moving beneath him, his arms tight around Aaron's waist, but it's not enough. This isn't right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit, why did he decide to get on top?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He extricates himself from Robert's grip and off his cock, making Robert </span>
  <em>
    <span>whine</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all things, so he can flip onto his back and pull Robert between his legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on," Aaron growls, and flicks his claws out so he can drag them down Robert's arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert goes willingly, slides back inside Aaron, bending Aaron's legs up to get a better angle. He grabs Aaron's wrists, bringing them together and pinning them over Aaron's head with one hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If I can't bite, you can't have your claws out," Robert says, breathing warmly along Aaron's beard and up to whisper in his ear. "I'll heal anyway. What's the point if you can't even mark me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll know," Aaron gasps, as Robert takes a quick thrust against him. "I'll know you're mine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not yours," Robert says, sounding oh so sure of himself, but Aaron knows better and laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, you are," Aaron breathes, pulling his legs tighter against Robert's arse. "Now, prove it, and fuck me for real."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's eyes flash red, he snakes one arm beneath Aaron's back, one hand still holding Aaron's wrists above his head against the pillow, and he just absolutely fucking rails him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Afterwards, once Robert comes, gasping into Aaron's mouth, and he crawls down to take Aaron's cock in his mouth and finger him until he comes down Robert's throat… Well, they're silent. Breathing. Robert's pressing his nose into Aaron's stomach, Aaron's combing his fingers through Robert's hair which is glowing golden from the sunlight hitting them through the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck, he's beautiful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron wants this everyday. Robert in his bed, sex in the afternoon, just Robert all over him all the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I gotta go," Robert whispers against his skin and then he's gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He assumes it's the supernatural vampire speed that gets Robert out of there so quickly, but Aaron isn't paying attention. He's just staying in bed, naked, sated, heart stupidly bursting, because he wants </span>
  <em>
    <span>more more more</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he's never going to get it. Not when Robert keeps running out, back to his wife and that rich family up on the hill.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robert is… quiet after that. He doesn't try to make time to see Aaron. Well, not alone. They'll meet for drinks in the pub, and Vic seems pleased they're getting along, but Robert is always making excuses for why he can't meet in the barn, why he can't sneak out, why they can't just go somewhere to be together for a few minutes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He avoids eye contact. He used to catch Aaron's eye all the time in the pub, so he'd know to meet him in the bogs and they could make out for a couple minutes. It's nearing the end of March now and that's only happened once since the end of February. It's doing his head in. Aaron wants to see Robert and he wants Robert to </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to see him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The few times they've been able to get some time alone it really is like Robert never wants to leave. And it's not the blood. There's been no time for a proper fuck where Robert can get high and lose his mind. But he's attentive when they're together. Always. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron knows Robert wants him, but he isn't trying anymore. Sure, Robert's always been scared, but he still went out of his way just to get a few minutes alone with Aaron. Now, sometimes he'll come if Aaron texts, but most of the time, it's just… avoidance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The big excuse is Seb. Apparently, Robert has to babysit </span>
  <em>
    <span>all the time. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It's not like Seb has two mothers, a grandfather, and an aunt who can probably take time to look after him. He also has a cousin, but Lachlan doesn't exactly seem like someone who's good with babies or children or… people, in general. Of course, it just </span>
  <em>
    <span>has </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be Robert. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And what really pisses off Aaron, is that Robert </span>
  <em>
    <span>loves</span>
  </em>
  <span> that kid. He dotes on him. And the fact that he actually wants to look after his sister-in-law's/ex-girlfriend's son, and that he's bloody well good at it too is so fucking attractive to Aaron, he feels unhinged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being able to envision a future with Robert, who he's known for three months, let's not forget, he can see just what kind of father he'd be and Aaron </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He wants a husband and kids and Liv all there in the Mill, which wouldn't feel too big and hollow if he had all that; and he wants that with Robert. Who, again, he's only known for three months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He might have to do something about this. He might have to… tell Robert… how he feels.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, it's horrifying, but what has he got to lose? The chance with one closeted, repressed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>married</span>
  </em>
  <span> guy? Objectively, it's not that big of a deal. It's just Robert. Robert. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>vampire</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's cold and arrogant and cocky and he's seen him dance, and that isn't very impressive. And Aaron can't stop thinking about him. Can't stop thinking about how good he makes him feel, how much he loves his sister, how beautiful he is, how his hair radiates gold in the sunlight, how his eyes look when he's going down on Aaron, how his mouth feels against Aaron's skin, how he holds Aaron on those days they have some extra time, how he'll clearly make a great father one day, how he fights tooth and nail for the people he cares about, and…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh God, he's in love with Robert Sugden. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tells Robert to meet him in the barn. He tells him if he’s not there on time, they’re over. He tells him they need to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert shows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He won’t come towards Aaron, won’t even look at him. And Robert, who Aaron can usually see through so easily, is a brick wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, we need to talk,” Robert says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then at least look at me,” Aaron says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert does, finally. And for the first time in a while, Aaron can see what he’s feeling. He looks sad. Almost grief-stricken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with ya, Robert?” Aaron asks. “If you didn’t want this, you would’ve ended it ages ago, but instead you’re avoidin’ me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are ya?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert scoffs and straightens up, looks Aaron dead in the eyes, and all emotion that there may have been drains from his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you think there’s more to this than there was,” he says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I care about you?” Robert spits. “You may be just a mechanic, but I know you’re smarter than that. It’s just sex. Just scratching an itch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron grits his teeth together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, what do you think this is, Aaron?” Robert continues. “It’s pity. I mean, look at ya. Should’ve ran when I saw those scars, but I thought, ‘Oh, Aaron, sad, lonely, only gay in the village, probably needs a good shag.’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> Robert is lying. He just knows it in his gut and he is not going to let him twist this. He’ll give as good as he got.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Aaron says. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> the sad one? What about you, Robert?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What </span>
  <em>
    <span>about </span>
  </em>
  <span>me? I have everything I could ever want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, because you had to flirt and fuck your way into it,” Aaron laughs. “Have you ever got anythin’ honestly in your life? Or was it all just con?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert goes to bite back, but Aaron doesn’t let him, and steps forward, gets up in his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I hear Diane and Vic say your dad would be so proud of ya for gettin’ this fancy job with the money, and marryin’ into a posh family. But all you do is lie, Robert. Would he be proud of that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The father you so desperately want to please. Well, he’s dead, Robert. Get that through your thick skull, you ain’t gotta prove anythin’ to him anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know anything!” Robert growls through angry clenched teeth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know enough. Poor little vampire baby had to get the bite just to feel more powerful than the daddy who could never love a cruel, cheatin’ liar like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he pushes Robert hard and then takes a step away as Robert stumbles backwards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I may be sad and lonely and the only gay in the village,” Aaron says. “But at least I’m not scared to admit who I am and what I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert breathes a bitter laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you want </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Robert says. “After all that? Sounds like you hate me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t hate you at all, you idiot. I love ya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that actually takes Robert aback. Like he’s been punched in the gut. He opens his mouth to say something and then closes it again. He just stares at Aaron. His stupid beautiful eyes clearly </span>
  <em>
    <span>feeling</span>
  </em>
  <span> something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not gonna pretend anymore,” Aaron says, and now the tears are coming. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I know you feel the same. There’s no denyin’ it, you can’t lie to me. I want this. You. So, all or nothin’. We do this, for real, now or it’s over. For good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert drags a hand over his face, anxiously. He’s breathing hard and he looks so torn. Aaron wants to go to him, but this is it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needs Robert to choose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think Seb is my son,” Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>me, realizing i can actually use "poor little vampire baby" in dialogue: laughter that is both marginally creepy and also incessantly proud of myself.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. now your hope and compassion is gone, you've sold out your dream to the world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><i>We’re lucky we found each other</i>, neither of them say. </p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from you're dead by norma tanega. yes that is the what we do in the shadows theme. yes it is a jam.</p><p>so, originally this chapter was going to cover like two months and go past where the last chapter ended, but then i was like no i have a better idea. so this is basically just march from robert's pov.</p><p>WARNINGS: this chapter is heavy character study (most robert chapters are who am i fucking kidding), and it deals with robert's internalized homophobia and biphobia. there's also a mention of his father's homophobic abuse.</p><p>ALSO. google fucking lied to me when i was looking up moon phases for 2017 before. they gave me NOTHING for march and then i looked it up again and OH THERE. so don't blame ME, blame google, and blame adam for being a shitty werewolf. however, i forgive adam bc i too am a shitty werewolf 😔✊</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It's the bed. Aaron's house. The bed in Aaron's house. Robert was drunk on him and he hadn't even had a drop of blood. He never wanted to leave Aaron's bed. He wanted to stay with Aaron in his bed in his house and make that his home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, he ran.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's just sex after all. Feelings never come into it and if they do, well… it's the bed! Not a blanket in the barn, the back of the car, or a toilet stall; it was a comfortable bed. And a comfortable bed isn't feelings. It's not love. It's just a bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert can't stop thinking about it. The way love bubbled up inside of him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Love</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It has been a month and a half of meaningless sex and now Robert wants all of Aaron? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It has to end. He loves his wife.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If it was a woman would you end it, Robert? Wouldn't you keep coming back for more?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>No, cheating is </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He's married now and he promised he wouldn't cheat once he'd exchanged vows.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You promised you wouldn't fall in love with someone else either, Robert. Look how that's turned out.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Avoiding Aaron is easier than he expected. Which he's obviously not disappointed about. Not at all. He doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> Aaron. He doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>miss</span>
  </em>
  <span> Aaron. Aaron doesn't make him feel safe and good and right. Aaron doesn't make being honest with himself okay. Aaron doesn't matter. He's nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he's not even thinking about Aaron. He's too busy. Bex is here with the wife and the baby and that's a great distraction. Turns out Robert's great with babies and since Bex and Emma haven't really had any real time alone without worrying about Sebastian, Robert's happy to babysit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While avoiding Aaron is easy, because he loves looking after Seb and jumps at any chance he can get to babysit, that doesn’t mean Robert isn’t weak. Sometimes, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>has </span>
  </em>
  <span>to go to him. He can restrain himself in public. He won’t catch his eye in the pub, or be the one to text first, but if Aaron texts him… He can’t always say no. He never </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say no, of course, but he loves his wife. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Once more with feeling, Robert. Really.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Obviously, he loves his wife.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the 11th of March and Robert’s been craving Aaron all day. This searing burn of hunger in his gut. Not for blood—though he does love Aaron’s blood—just for Aaron. Just to be near him and to feel his skin against his lips, scars and all. Robert worships nothing, but he could make an exception for Aaron, he thinks. He’s never wanted someone so much in his life that all he’s wanted to do is give, give, give, but he would give it all for him. And that’s terrifying. That’s not possible. It’s just another reason why it has to end. If he gives everything to Aaron, what would he have left? Regret? Shame? Just the empty cold vessel everyone sees him as anyway? If he gives everything to Aaron, will Aaron run away with it? Abandon him like everyone’s done? Die like his mothers? Will he see it all and throw it back in his face like his father? </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why shouldn’t Aaron want him?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Robert sometimes thinks to himself. He’s handsome, he’s smart, he has money now. He’s a catch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But why should Aaron want someone like him? A fake, a liar, a greedy opportunist who takes and takes and never gives anything back. And that’s all Robert is, isn’t he? The worst kind of monster. The kind who can suck people dry with one withering look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he is greedy and he takes what he wants. And he wants Aaron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today it just feels amplified. Full moon’s tomorrow night. It’s not common for the full moon to have an effect on vampires, but Robert’s connected to Aaron now. He’s drunk his blood and now the moon makes his body sing and vibrate, like he can feel Aaron from where he knows he’s working on a car at the garage while Robert sits in the office at Home Farm too distracted to work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Aaron can feel it too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He texts: </span>
  <em>
    <span>meet at garage after close. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robert gets to the garage just after 8. Inside he says “I want you so much” against Aaron’s lips and Aaron laughs against him, pulling Robert close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Full moon,” Aaron says, because he can read Robert’s mind and body. “It’s tomorrow night. Adam’s gonna have quite the shock. He’s a terrible werewolf, can’t keep track of moon phases.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are we talking about moon phases?” Robert asks, and decides to start sucking a bruise onto Aaron’s neck, not giving a shit about who might ask Aaron about it tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not,” Aaron says, pulling Robert’s head back to kiss him and it’s fucking filthy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert’s pushing Aaron against a car door, kissing him deeply, and rubbing his hand against the length of Aaron’s dick in his jeans. It’s so easy to forget why he should end this when Aaron is moaning against him, needy and beautiful. Both more animal than usual, clawing at each other’s clothes, biting at each other’s lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert can’t count how many times he’s gotten on his knees for Aaron. It’s so natural at this point to take Aaron apart with his mouth and his fingers and look up at him with red eyes and watch Aaron just lose it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t do this with anyone else,” Aaron says, once Robert’s taken his cock out of his pants and started to stroke him slowly. “Haven’t the way I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert knows it’s just the sex that’s making Aaron talk. When all you can think about is your dick, so anything will just come tumbling out of your mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert wraps his lips around Aaron’s dick making Aaron gasp, but he keeps talking. “Can’t be real with humans. No other werewolves I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We’re lucky we found each other</span>
  </em>
  <span>, neither of them say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And isn’t that a horrifying thought? That they’re lucky. That they’re the only two in the world who can make the other feel like this. That if their serendipitous meeting hadn’t happened, they would be lonely and would never find what they need. </span>
</p><p><span>What’s Aaron done to him? Why can’t he ever be satisfied unless he’s deepthroating a werewolf the day before the full moon. What’s wrong with him that </span><em><span>all</span></em> <em><span>he wants</span></em><span> is to make Aaron feel good, his own pleasure be damned because </span><em><span>this</span></em><span>—Aaron—</span><em><span>this </span></em><span>is the greatest pleasure. </span></p><p>
  <span>He jerks himself off, sucking down Aaron with all he’s got. Groaning when Aaron pulls his hair and drags his claws against his scalp and his neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert looks up at Aaron, beautiful as he falls apart, and comes with Aaron’s cock still in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron comes with a deep growl and Robert swallows and swallows until Aaron’s breathing has evened and he’s relaxed against the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert does his trousers back up and slides up Aaron’s body. He tucks Aaron away carefully, slowly, lovingly zipping and buttoning up his jeans. He leans against Aaron, just wanting to look at him, memorize his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants to tell him he loves him, that he never wants to let him go, that he wants him everyday forever. As long as he lives. And Robert will live forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck. Robert will live forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron will grow old. Aaron will die. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, the garage is suffocating. He loves him and if he loves him… if he commits to loving Aaron, he’ll watch him die.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rebecca was right. Robert cares. He cares too much. He’s bursting with it and he can’t contain it and if he can’t contain it, it will destroy Aaron. It will destroy everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has to get out of there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just runs. Doesn’t even look back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's doing a lot of running lately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As it happens, so is Aaron. Robert sees him on his runs. Sweaty, hair free and curly, and focused. It's one of those times Aaron never seems to notice Robert watching. It's one of those times Robert feels safe to look, drink in the sight of him, want, because he knows he won't be caught. Not when all Aaron wants to do is run. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every time Aaron jogs past him, Robert can feel like his heart is beating again. Or maybe he’s just sensing Aaron’s heart rate picking up, blood pumping, energy flowing. The way Aaron makes him feel so </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’s intoxicating. He wants to take Aaron off the beaten path while he’s going for a run, rip off his shorts and have him against a tree. He wants him anywhere at any time, but he can’t. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loves his wife.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, Robert, you’ve got to stop saying that. You’ve got to stop lying.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He runs. Again. He just keeps running.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert started running when he was a kid. After his sister. Away from his father. Into the woods because he wasn't supposed to, because sometimes there's only safety where there's the most danger and when you have everything to lose. Robert ran away from Emmerdale and he told himself he was running to something, but it doesn't feel like that anymore. Sure, he's successful, he married rich, he got that gift of eternal life and doubled down on his bloodlust, but he's still back in Emmerdale. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What's it good for if his father's dead? He can't rub it in his face that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> someone. That he doesn't ruin everything. That he made something of himself. That he's happy despite him—Jack. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you're not happy, are you, Robert?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert doesn't know how he can be such a mess of contradictions. He can face so much, he can scream in the face of his resentments, he can take what he wants and not give a shit, but he gets scared and he runs. He fucks up and he runs. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants</span>
  </em>
  <span>… and he runs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over and over and over again. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Face up to something for once in your life, Robert. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But how do you stop running away? All he wants to do is run </span>
  <em>
    <span>to</span>
  </em>
  <span> Aaron. And hold him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he is stopped in his tracks by that gripping fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And being the coward he is, Robert runs away again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Robert is avoiding Aaron, he's also actually spending a lot of time with him. They're hanging out as friends. Robert can tell Aaron's annoyed there's no ulterior motive. Robert refuses to give those heated looks that'll bring them to the bathroom so they can snog against a stall partition; instead he </span>
  <em>
    <span>talks</span>
  </em>
  <span> to Aaron. Simply, like real people do. And it's easy. Aaron is funny, all dry humour and sly glances. Takes the piss at Robert's expense and stupidly, Robert loves it. Takes it and throws it back. Bickering banter between them drawing the obvious attention of Vic, who's just pleased Robert's getting along with her friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She has no idea. How could she? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Robert starts to worry it's obvious. Aaron gives him these </span>
  <em>
    <span>looks</span>
  </em>
  <span> sometimes; these intense lustful gazes that make Robert paranoid. Anyone could see them together and just </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> what's going on. And if people know, Robert's world will be destroyed. Goodbye marriage, goodbye job, goodbye chance of ever having anything over Andy again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> Andy. He acts so righteous as if he didn't hit his wife. Katie acts so righteous by standing next to him. She's always up on her high horse, looking down at Robert for being a cheater, a liar, a remorseful opportunist as if she isn't just as much of a cheater as he is. It takes two to tango, Katie. How much is self-righteousness worth when it's clearly tainted by the sins of your past? Robert certainly isn't a humble man, he wears his pride across his chest, but he wouldn't delude himself into self-righteousness. He doesn't have to be better than Andy and Katie in virtue, as if they'd even come out on top with their pasts, he just has to be better. And it isn't very hard to do that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some may call it hubris. Robert just knows displaying confidence will go a long way when it comes to winning the long-standing biblical dispute with his adopted brother. And a healthy ego is nothing to be ashamed of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they would love this, wouldn't they? Proving once and for all that Robert hasn't changed and will never change, not that he's ever even claimed to have been a changed man. They can prove that he's worse than he's ever been, that his father would never be proud of him, that his father was always right about him. Robert ruins everything he touches. And he's touched Aaron countless times now. Ruining him over and over again. And then he goes home and touches his wife with those same hands. Those filthy cheating hands that just had to stray from his faithful, devoted wife, to the hard and scarred body of a man. Another woman would be one thing. But Aaron… Aaron will be Robert's ultimate downfall. In Katie's eyes, wouldn't that just be the final nail in Robert's coffin? Pun intended, of course. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The betrayal would be catastrophic. Chrissie already took her sister's coming out as a personal slight; how would she react to Robert being… whatever he is. Something. Some</span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The selfish, ruinous leech that he is. If Chrissie wasn't already a vampire, Robert may well have been sucking her dry, draining her until she inevitably withers away and dies because Robert couldn't keep his hands to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because he started to need Aaron. Because even in his avoiding and ignoring Aaron, he still needs to know he's close by so he can feel safe, normal, loved. When Robert is at Home Farm and away from him, all he feels is ashamed, and he can hear that voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The one that sometimes sounds like logical pleading from Rebecca telling him to stop lying. The shame will go away. But sometimes it sounds like his father, sharp and punitive, after he'd taken a belt to him; so disappointed, so disgusted. And that voice is so much louder.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Get out of the woods, get out of the woods, get out of the woods gET OUT OF THE WOODS GET OUT OF THE WOODS GETOUTOF THE WOODS GETOUTOFTHEWOODS</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Get out of the woods, Robert.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Bex said something about eco-glamping in the woods around Home Farm."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert coughs, pulled out of his subconscious by Emma, who's feeding the baby and drinking a coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They're in the café, waiting on Rebecca to come pick Emma up for dinner. They're going to a posh restaurant in Hotten for some kind of anniversary. Robert wasn't paying attention. He's just happy to look after Seb for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was something we were discussing," Robert says, bulldozing over his anxiety, pushing it as far down as he can until it's little more than a ripple in the pit of his stomach. "I think it'd be a fiscally sound opportunity, but I reckon Bex just thinks it sounds fun. Said something about festivals without the music."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, she loves a good glamp at a music festival," Emma says, fondly. "She hates getting the tent and everything together though." She laughs, smiling wistfully, so clearly in love, and continues on. "She was very happy to have a legitimate reason to get out of helping put her state of the art 'high-tech'", she stipulates that with air-quotes, "tent up at Reading this past summer."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hm?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pregnant, dude," Emma says, putting Seb's bottle down and lifting Seb up to her chest. He starts pulling at Emma's necklaces, completely entrenched in a puka shell choker. "She was, like, five and a half months along at the end of August. And loving lounging around while I did all the hard work."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pauses and smirks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not that I mind for her."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I can see her kicking back while you sweat up a storm putting up some ridiculous tent," Robert laughs and then… "Wait. Five and a half months? I thought Seb's birthday was the beginning of November."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Emma says, pulling Seb's grabbing hands away from her jewelry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That would put the due date in December," Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, yeah, Seb was a preemie," Emma replies, and moves her son down to her lap to press a kiss to his head and then bounce him up and down. "Weren't you, baby? You really scared your mamas for a bit there, didn't you, mister?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i also forgot to say in previous chapters. emma was named by kay, thank you kay. thank you for helping in the inception of this bisexual jock icon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. give me life, give me pain, give me myself again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The White family have always been vampires. In the metaphorical sense, of course.</p><p>Maybe real, non-metaphorical vampirism was always an inevitability.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>whew okay this was a tough one to write. so a few notes and warnings.<br/>1. rebecca deals heavily with compulsory heterosexuality and it is implied she used sex with men as a way to self-harm. i was planning on that self-harm aspect to be more explicit, but it was kind of too triggering for me to put down more than i did. so please, please, please be aware of this and heed the warning.<br/>2. drug use! cults! i know we're us so that's sexy, but you know that shit is referenced in here and y'all need to know lol.<br/>3. this changes tenses and i mostly in past tense because of reasons, but it does switch to present tense. i hope it's not too confusing lol.<br/>4. title is from little earthquakes by tori amos. it's my rebecca song for this fic (also i bet on losing dogs by mitski. obviously.)<br/>5. i can't believe i keep forgetting to say this, but thank you so much for all the lovely and encouraging comments. it really means so much, i'm not great at taking compliments but know i'm reading them all and appreciating them so much. this is longest fic i've written now which is hilarious. goddamn soap really has me by the throat.</p><p>AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.<br/>(rebecca's pov)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The White family have always been vampires. In the metaphorical sense, of course. It was one of the reasons Rebecca travelled so much. Being around her family was emotionally draining; her father’s lies and scheming, Chrissie’s selfishness and incessant whining, Lachlan’s… Well, just Lachlan in general. Bex knows she’s one of them, but she’s never felt like it. And especially after her mother died, it didn’t feel like there were anymore ties to them. She’s always needed to be free and around people who actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s never been love in the White family, only greed. Maybe real, non-metaphorical vampirism was always an inevitability. Probably not in another universe where things are normal, but in this universe vampires are real. This came as quite a shock to Rebecca, who at the time of learning of her father’s plan to blackmail a vampire into bestowing eternal life on the family, was part of a small occultist group in Arizona. Yes, despite having spent much of her life taking acid at spiritual group orgies to pay respects to Aphrodite, Rebecca was immensely surprised to find out vampires were real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had come home immediately on a red eye. Which was probably the first time she’d actually come running when her family called. Her mother was dying, her dad and Chrissie were desperate, and Rebecca was absolutely horrified. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she wasn’t just scared because the situation was objectively scary. Finding out that getting to live forever at the cost of becoming cold heartless killers was completely fine with Chrissie and Lawrence solidified who they really were as people; and Rebecca realized she didn’t know who she was. She knew she didn’t want to be a vampire with them, she knew seeing her mother sick and dying scared her more than anything, particularly because she didn’t want to be a vampire either. Her mum just wanted to die. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she did. She died. She left home so she could die on her own terms, Bex by her side, holding her hand, watching her slip away, knowing the husband who never loved her and the daughter desperate for her to live would not only outlive her past that day, but for everyday after that, forever. Lawrence and Chrissie, despite everything, still took the bite. It felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>logical</span>
  </em>
  <span> to them and Rebecca couldn’t understand, could only mourn her dead mother and the loving family she could have had. She even mourned for the normal life Lachlan should have, but it was decided he’d be turned as well as soon as he turned 18. It felt so final. Suddenly, ephemerality was an ending not a true constant, but a death. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had to watch her mother die, she couldn’t watch the rest of her family turn their lives cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, Rebecca spiralled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She joined another cult in search for real human connection. She had sex with a lot of different people. She did a lot of drugs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bex was aware that the cult was… well, a cult, but she didn't care. She didn't care if she was hurt or went crazy, because it just meant she was human. If she could take shrooms and see every colour, touch spirituality, reach enlightenment, it meant she was actually alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the sex was great. Or, rather, it was copious, and sometimes she actually came. Usually, when there women involved. In all honesty, Rebecca was doing a lot of drugs and days blended together and her memory was a whirlwind of bodies and light and sound, so she didn't actually know. She did know there were women involved. And she did know that she liked that there were women involved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or it could've just been the cocaine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't matter though. The group fell apart and with it Bex's sense of cultivated human connection. She felt lost, bereft, and hollow. She didn't have friends left over and that meant the communal group mind didn't complete her. So, maybe what she needed wasn't people and drugs and all the bodies and light and sound that came with them, but just silence, sobriety, nature. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hiking in Peru made sense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a while, it was good. She could breathe easy, she felt healthy, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>working</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she saw another tourist transform into a werewolf; she had a panic attack, and ran back home to England. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knew her family wasn't normal, but they pretended to be. For once in her life, Rebecca felt safer at home. Health and happiness was left behind, but so were most of the drugs. One couldn't exactly go without weed, of course. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She met Emma around the same time she met Robert and went right back to having a lot of sex. No more orgies; Bex could only get into those if she'd taken a hallucinogen and she was strictly on pot now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emma was just fun, it was whatever, but Robert made sense. Her dad seemed to be jealous of her spending so much time with Robert, though he had no idea they were sleeping together. That was funny. Robert found it funny. Robert made off-hand comments about flirting with her father, and Rebecca could tell his type. Doing all he could to get money, including flirting with an old man to get into the inner circle. And Bex knew Robert wasn't nice, he was arrogant and plastic, but there were times where she could </span>
  <em>
    <span>see</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. These fleeting moments of sadness and bare honesty that made Rebecca feel for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was like looking in a mirror. He was hiding. He was hurting. He was scared. And all of that culminated into this angry, vindictive person that Rebecca didn't want to become. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It ended and Rebecca watched as Robert pick things up with Chrissie and Rebecca was… </span>
  <em>
    <span>relieved. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She couldn't figure out why she was relieved. Shouldn't she be feeling jealous? That this man she obviously had feelings for was suddenly in a serious relationship with her older sister. Shouldn't that upset her? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had feelings for him, right? She had liked spending time with him, didn't she? The sex was good, wasn't it? Robert was objectively good at sex, and she was reminded of that at Robert and Chrissie's engagement party… But why, the entire time he was going down on her, was Rebecca imagining it was Emma between her thighs?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was like a punch to the gut; the sudden realization that every time she was with a man, she was fantasizing about women. She couldn't figure out what it meant. She'd loved Robert, hadn't she? Things were good with him, even if it was a secret. She had been almost happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's okay to like women, you know?" Emma said to Bex, one evening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were sharing a bottle of wine, cuddled up together on Emma's bed in the small flat Emma shared with two other theatre creatives. Emma's room was small, but loud. Blood red walls covered in posters for various plays and movies and bands. There were racks across one wall holding prop swords ranging in size. Rebecca felt at home there, but she'd never admit it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know that, obviously," Bex replied, and then took a long sip from the bottle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know we've been sleeping together for a while," Emma said, "but that doesn't mean your head's sorted out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're friends, Emma," said Bex. "The sex doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean I like having relationships with women just because I like sex with them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you like having relationships with men?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, she didn't.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that didn't mean she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>gay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She couldn't be. Not with her family. Her father's stupid "phase" and his lies, wouldn't Rebecca being gay just disappoint him? And she was not one to disappoint her father, if he had disappointed her countless times. So, she couldn't just be gay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And well, maybe she did want to have relationships with women. Maybe she couldn't stop thinking about the way Emma would hold her, comfort her, touch her. Make her come harder than she'd ever had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that didn't mean she was a lesbian. Surely, she'd loved Robert. It made sense to love Robert. She hadn't been in love before, but how she felt about Robert </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be love and attraction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay, there wasn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>lust</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but she cared about him. She definitely cared about him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had to see him. It had been a few months since she'd seen him and even longer since the affair had ended, but she had to know. And, perhaps against her better judgement, Rebecca felt safe with Robert. So, if she had to figure out if she actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked</span>
  </em>
  <span> men, then Robert seemed to be the best bet to try it out with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert, despite being the one to end the affair in the first place, welcomed Rebecca into his bed, because he always had to have his cake and eat it too. For a lying cheat, he was a perfect gentleman in bed. Surprisingly thoughtful and attentive to his partner’s needs, but Bex felt… nothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She faked it all the way through, hating herself for thinking about Emma just to try and like it. She hated herself so much. She was so lost. Trapped in her head just so she could fuck. But she was a damn good actor. Robert wouldn’t be able to tell. He’d never know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could make a human happy, you know,” Rebecca said afterwards, pulling her clothes on as Robert stayed lounging on the hotel bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, like you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not necessarily,” she said. “I just mean… you don’t have to do this. Be a part of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve talked about this already, Bex,” Robert said. “I want to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bex laughed bitterly at him, crossing her arms, standing in front of the bed, half-dressed and angry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someday, it’ll come to bite you in arse,” she said. “You’ll have to stop pretending to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> sorry excuse for a person and come to terms with the fact that you actually care about things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert rolled his eyes, having heard this countless times before, but Rebecca knows him too well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I can’t see through you, Robert?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How dare you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How dare </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Robert laughed. “What about you? Where do you get off telling me you know what’s better for me? Who do you think you are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your friend, Rob,” Rebecca said. “Far as I can tell I’m your only friend as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you think that means I care about you or your opinion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After how long I’ve known you now—yes, yes, I think you do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t. You could be anyone. But you don’t have access to Lawrence’s money. Pity, if you had, you could be the one I’m marrying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, maybe you should’ve put your money where your mouth is after flirting with my dad and just fucked him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> could be the one you’re marrying instead. You’d do anything for money, wouldn’t you, Robert? How about a sad old man, who’ll get you more than Chrissie will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The old hat trick?” Robert said, smirking. “Too bad he’s so deep in denial, he doesn’t know it himself, eh? It’s offensive, actually. That I can be so comfortable in my own sexuality that I’ve got no qualms flirting with him, but he can’t even admit he’s gay to himself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what happened to him...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And now he’s just filled with hate and anger,” Robert spit, bitterly, almost like he cared. “He’s the one you should tell to stop pretending. I’m not faking a thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bully for you,” Rebecca said quietly, looking down at her feet and then finished getting dressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On her way out the door, she looked back at him where he was dripping in arrogance and ambition, and said, “enjoy your life, Robert.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will,” he replied. “I’ve got it forever.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The day Rebecca told Emma she was a lesbian, Emma told her she was a werewolf. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now here they are a year later, in this village positively crawling with werewolves. Emma feels at home here. She’s never had a pack of her own, always been the lone wolf, but she’s getting to know the Dingles, and Rebecca’s never seen her wife this happy. Rebecca’s never been this happy either. Out and open, married, with a son. It’s something of a miracle, really. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bex had thought she was going to spend her life feeling empty, dissociating while having sex with rich man after rich man, until she withered away into dust as if she'd never existed. Being able to meet her wife in the café to take her out to dinner, to kiss her openly, to not care who sees, to not care about any judgement that might come their way; this is what she'd been waiting for her whole life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Learning not to care helped her care for herself, her son, her wife, the things that truly matter, better. It's a beautiful thing to have no more qualms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Rebecca arrives at the café to pick up Emma, Robert's buckling Seb into the car seat to take him over to the pub to see Diane. She goes to kiss Seb's head and then takes her wife's face in her hands and kisses her deep because she can and she hasn't a care in the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert coughs and Bex turns to look at him and rolls her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ladies, please, let's keep it PG, there are </span>
  <em>
    <span>children</span>
  </em>
  <span>," he says, nodding towards Seb, who is thoroughly distracted by his stuffed giraffe toy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t a woman celebrate with her wife how she wants in a café?” Rebecca says, pulling Emma up to slide an arm around her waist and kiss her cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the occasion anyway?” Robert asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the one year anniversary of me realizing I’m a lesbian,” Bex says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do people usually celebrate that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s a big deal,” Emma says, slipping her hand under Bex’s fur coat to slip her hand to the small of Rebecca’s back, her thumb stroking against her spine. “I’m really proud of her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert looks momentarily uncomfortable, at a loss, and then grins at them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very glad for you,” Robert says. “Congrats on the being a lesbian for one year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Bex replies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a very eventful year by the looks of things,” Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You reckon?” Rebecca says. “But, you know, best year of my life, really. Wouldn’t change anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gazes down at her son, absolutely astounded by how perfect he is. She slides a finger into his small hand and he holds on tight, looking up at her and smiling. For a moment, only she and Seb are in the café just smiling at each other, the physical ache of how much she loves him tangible in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she comes back to reality, Robert has that look on his face again. This quietly melancholic look she can’t decipher.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robert?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He says, blankly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then he snaps out of it and grins back at her and Emma.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m great,” he says. “You two have a good evening. Big lesbian night out!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m bisexual, actually,” Emma says. “Although, this is Bex’s night. So, yeah, big lesbian night out! Let’s go, baby!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thing about Emma is that she didn't just help Rebecca come to terms with her sexuality, she introduced her to a world beyond herself. In the past year, Bex has met more werewolves than she thought she ever would have. Particularly because she didn't know they existed until two and a half years ago. But Emma opened up her worldview. As enlightened and unprejudiced as Rebecca had always fancied herself, she realized she'd still been riding the privileged sails of her father's legacy even while deliberately avoiding him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bex had travelled around chasing any ounce of truth and feeling, but it wasn't until she came home and met Emma that she really started to feel free. She'd done a hefty amount of LSD, but the vibrancy of that didn't compare to the glorious technicolour her life was in now. Emma had even introduced her to vampires who weren't the soul sucking stereotype her family had chosen to become. Most of them hadn't chosen it anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rebecca had wanted to give Robert that chance to break away like she had. To knock down the walls of the box Lawrence had built up for them to fit into. Did Robert even want to be this? She couldn't figure it out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can't figure him out anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Recently, Robert's been despondent. He coasts through his sister's birthday, disappearing sometime later in the evening after Victoria's boyfriend had proposed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In fact, he disappears a lot. More so in February, but it still happens. Suspicious. But this is Robert after all; and even if she's had trouble sussing him out recently, Bex still </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> him. She used to be the reason for his disappearances. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She has to be certain though. Robert could have some completely innocent explanation, but this </span>
  <em>
    <span>is Robert</span>
  </em>
  <span>; even if he is cheating, which he probably is, he'll bring out his extensively pre-planned innocent explanation and someone dumber than Rebecca will eat it up. She can't let that happen. She knows his sister-in-law Katie has some kind of vendetta against him that has to do with him being a lying cheat, and she seems pretty set on proving it. It's likely if she knew anything happening presently then the entire village would know by now; but Katie, at the very least, probably has an amateur investigation going with some theories on hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talking to her might be awkward—Katie sends Bex a lot of judgemental looks which she assumes are because she's friendly with Robert—but she's her best bet at the moment. Unfortunately, Bex cares about Robert and she wants to get to the bottom of this, not only because she doesn't want her sister married to a man who's cheating on her, but as much for Robert's own sake. He can't help himself and Rebecca's scared that if she just lets him create and dwell in chaos, he'll inevitably destroy himself. If that happens, who else could come down with him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Worst comes to worst, Seb could get hurt, and she's not about to take that chance. And there's only so many secrets you can hold onto for so long before they explode.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. i'll be a thorn in your side, till you die</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Well, I'm gonna talk to Bex today," Robert says. "About Seb. Figured I've waited long enough."</p><p>"Good luck, mate."</p><p>"What for?"</p><p>"Whatever result you're hopin' for, I guess," Aaron says.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW for some vague body horror.</p><p>this chapter has everything honestly. including, tragically, lachlan.</p><p>chapter title from we sink by chvrches.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He’s happy for Vic. Really he is, he just can’t stay in the pub surrounded by happy people congratulating his sister and her new fiancé. Too many smiling faces that he doesn’t have the energy to be one of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fucks off as soon as it’s acceptable to do so, congratulating Vic, giving her a hug and wishing her a happy birthday, shaking Adam’s hand and promising a shovel talk at a later date. He sneaks out the back way so no one else will try to drag him into doing shots that won’t even get him drunk. He wishes he was drunk. He can pretend sometimes if he drinks some cheap whiskey and lets the memory of what it felt like when he was alive overtake him, but it doesn’t last long. It doesn’t work. Nothing works but Aaron, although he doesn’t want to use his blood to drown his sorrows in, to forget all his problems. It’s this luxurious, leisurely thing where he wants to feel everything Aaron makes him feel. When he comes down it’s terrifying, knowing he can’t have a connection with anyone else like that. They fit together beyond just the way their bodies slot into place. They provide each other with something the other can’t find anywhere else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he didn’t choose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other day in the barn, he didn’t choose. Well, not exactly. He doesn’t know if they’re still sleeping together, but he thinks they’re friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least, it seems that way when Robert’s feet take him from the pub to the cemetery and Aaron falls into step beside him. A comfort at his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they get there, he doesn't go in. He stands where pavement meets grass and stares down at his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?” Aaron says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s close, but he won’t touch Robert, keeping that hair’s breadth distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vic and Diane keep saying my dad would be proud of me,” Robert says, and he feels the sick twist of shame roll in his gut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m listening,” Aaron says, softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a good person, am I?” Robert says. “I mean, I haven’t pretended to be anything but what I am, and I’ve hurt a lot of people in the process, but I never cared before. I didn’t think I cared. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> myself I didn’t care. Barely felt anything for years, and then him… I love that boy so much, it actually hurts. Vic and Adam are happy, Diane and Doug are happy, Andy and Katie, Bex and Emma. I’m surrounded by all these stupidly happy couples and I’m supposed to have that. I’m supposed to have everything I wanted and worked for and lied and schemed my way into. I’m supposed to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span> with Chrissie. But I’ve never been so unhappy in my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He breathes, staring into the inky graveyard, feeling that it’s such an apt place to be right now. Dark, melancholy, filled with people disappointed in him, filled with his mistakes. It would serve him right for vampires to be decrepit and dusty, rotted on the outside like his heart has always been, but instead he comes across as uncannily human. Even the werewolves haven’t noticed. Apart from Aaron, of course. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said I ruin everything I touch, m’dad,” Robert says, after a long moment of silence. “Why would you let me keep touching you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I like it,” Aaron says. “I like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You love me,” Robert adds, smiling. “You said.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Aaron says. “Prob’ly shouldn’t, I know, but I’ve never been very good at controllin’ me feelings now, have I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we’re both mad then, eh?” Robert says and bumps his hand against Aaron’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron looks up at him, clear as day in his night vision, and smiles as he laces his fingers with Robert’s and holds his hand tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not too late to make it right,” Aaron says. “Be his dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rebecca made such a big deal out of how I’m going to watch all my loved ones die,” Robert says. “It’s far too late, Aaron. Proper cocked it up, ‘cause all I could think about was myself. How I wanted to live forever, didn’t care that I’d have to watch Vic grow old and die while I just stayed the same. And it’s going to happen. Vic is one thing, but Seb… He doesn’t deserve someone like me for a dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are proper stupid, you, y’know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, obviously, it’s what I’ve been saying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean Rebecca came here to Emmerdale with the baby,” Aaron says. “Why d’you think that is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She came to see her family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron untangles their fingers and rolls his eyes at him, scoffing, although it’s not unkind. More fond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said she doesn’t even like her family,” Aaron says. “Y’know, I’ve talked to her a few times, I don’t think she gets along with them. But she likes </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she gets along with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, ya idiot! She lets you babysit, for fuck’s sake. Of course, she wants you to be in Seb’s life. She prob’ly thought you’d figure it out right away that he’s yours, but you’re so bloody selfish and can’t see past the end of your own nose. You’re already in his life, Robert, take the fuckin’ leap, why don’t ya?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, shut up!” Aaron cuts him off, pointing an extremely non-menacing finger at Robert, but one that does quiet him all the same. “Good of ya to realize all you think about is yourself, but what’re ya gonna do about it, Robert? Talk to Rebecca.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he starts walking away, up the road, back towards the village.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert takes a moment to be bereft and then jogs after Aaron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, that’s it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just walking away?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I was expecting you to follow me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both stop walking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, </span>
  <em>
    <span>oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Aaron says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wherever,” Aaron says, shrugging.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t choose,” Robert says. “I didn’t choose anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want ya, Robert,” Aaron says. “That’s not a secret, but you’ve got things to figure out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> walking away?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t say that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what are you saying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m saying I’ll take what I can get while you’re sortin' yourself out with Seb and Chrissie. Can’t help meself, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaron,” Robert says, deliberately, desperately, taking Aaron’s face in his hands, pulling him close. “You have me. All of me. Just give me time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How much time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno, but I’ve got all the time in the world, haven’t I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron clings to Robert’s jacket, tugging him against him tight, looks up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t,” Aaron whispers, smiling sadly. “You forgettin' I don't live forever? I’m a werewolf; I’ve got inhuman strength and sharp senses, but I age and I can get hurt. I can die. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> die, Robert. How much are you actually willing to give if you know I’m just like everyone else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t forgotten, Aaron. I’ll take what I can get too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Greedy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s rather on brand for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get your head wrapped round stuff, yeah?” Aaron says. “For now, it’s just… whatever we want it to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I want it to be more?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s up to you, Robert,” Aaron says. “But bein’ scared won’t help anything. You don’t wanna be a coward? Then step up. Alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Robert echoes, quietly and then leans down to kiss Aaron softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thinks and it takes him aback the way it would be so easy to just say it. He could give Aaron everything, take all that Aaron gives, and damn everything else. It frightens him just how much he wants it all. It's too scary, it's too fast, it's too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He can't take being </span>
  <em>
    <span>in love</span>
  </em>
  <span>. At least, not right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think," Robert says reluctantly, pulling away. "Just friends for now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron gives a curt nod and stuffs his hands in his jean pockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's fair," he says. "Think about your son."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Robert says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robert and Aaron are very good at being friends. Considering they actually like each other already, it’s easy. All they have to do is ignore the being </span>
  <em>
    <span>in love</span>
  </em>
  <span> with each other part, and platonic friendship just falls simply into place. They don’t have to try very hard. They see each other in the pub all the time, they hang out, they watch a film, they tease their sisters together, and they very much do not have sex at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, the friendship part comes easy, but trying to turn off how much he wants to fuck Aaron whenever he does something even remotely attractive may actually kill Robert. And </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, even the stupidest little things, turn Robert on. It’s unfortunate, because he does have other things he should be focusing on, but playing gay chicken with himself is actually a pretty welcome distraction from properly talking to Rebecca.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The big thing is, he doesn’t even know how to ask her. Should he just blurt it out? Corner her at Home Farm and beg for answers? Kidnap Seb?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait, no, that’s a bad idea. That doesn’t make sense. He puts a lid on that train of thought and moves on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Aaron is right, then Rebecca is just waiting for Robert to figure it out, but there’s still that nagging feeling that if Seb isn’t his son and he asks, he’ll make a goddamn fool of himself. And Robert Sugden does not take embarrassment well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, he has to know, and the day comes that he's finally going to ask. He's up early that day, so he slips out of bed, careful not to wake up Chrissie, and heads into the village. He gets a coffee and croissant at the cafe. He sees Aaron on his run and wants him terribly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron slows down outside the cafe, pulling an earbud out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're up early," Aaron says. "Chrissie kick you out, did she?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You wish," Robert scoffs, and Aaron rolls his eyes at him. "She's probably still snoring away. I just couldn't sleep."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should try runnin' with me sometime," Aaron says. "More exercise means better sleep."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I get exercise."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure ya do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do!" Robert says. "I go to the gym. I'm toned."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, you'd get more toned if ya came out with me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert comes in closer to Aaron, where he's stopped in the road, sweating, breathing heavy. He looks delicious. He wants to lick the sweat from Aaron's skin and make him sweat more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I seem to remember," Robert says, lowering his voice. "you liking my body just the way it is."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron shrugs, but Robert sees that barely there teasing smile on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Never happened," Aaron says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And anyway, I'm a vampire," he says. "Exercise doesn't change my body one way or another. It's all in the blood."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sees Aaron's breath catch, and he can smell the want on him, feel the heat of his blood through the space between them. Aaron steps away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Better not then, eh?" He says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right," Robert says, nodding, knowing if they ran together and sweated together and got their adrenaline up together, </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> would definitely happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Aaron says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I'm gonna talk to Bex today," Robert says. "About Seb. Figured I've waited long enough."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good luck, mate."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What for?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whatever result you're hopin' for, I guess," Aaron says. "D'you know what that is?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert nods, and Aaron looks at him thoughtfully for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think he's yours, Robert," Aaron says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You think so?" And Robert, despite himself, feels hopeful and knows he looks it as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, no doubt," Aaron says, then starts up jogging again. "See ya later, mate!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert waves and watches as Aaron runs faster and faster and further away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It turns out Rebecca is the one who asks to speak to Robert. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he gets back to Home Farm, everyone's up. Chrissie leaves to go into town, Lachlan's off to school, Lawrence is in the office, and Emma's taken Seb into the village. Bex is on her laptop at the kitchen island.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Looking for another cult to join?" Robert asks, pulling off his suit jacket and hanging it on the back of a chair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, no, my cult days are behind me," Rebecca replies, closing her laptop. "I have to talk to you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh?" Robert says, his stomach sinking, even though he knows what it's going to be about. "Well, I was going to have a shower, but afterwards, yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bex agrees and Robert runs up and rushes through a shower, anxiety biting at him. He'd planned out everything he was going to say to her, but if Rebecca's the one who's going to bring it up first, it does let him off the hook a bit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is that my mobile?” Robert says, when he’s back in the kitchen after his shower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rebecca’s still sitting at the island, but she’s holding Robert’s phone and looking at him witheringly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you having an affair?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t play dumb, Robert,” she says. “I’ve thought it for a couple weeks, I just needed proof. Who the Hell is A?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not what you think,” Robert says, because he doesn’t know what else to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Bex says. “I’m not stupid; I know the signs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why would you be angry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re married to my sister, Robert,” she spits. “Because back then my head was so messed up I didn’t know what I wanted. Of course I’m bloody angry. It’s actually ridiculous that I ever thought you could think about someone other than yourself for once, that I thought you loved Chrissie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do love Chrissie!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re incapable of love! And now this poor woman,” she shakes the mobile in the air, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>A</span>
  </em>
  <span>, is being irreparably used by you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you even read the texts? What about them screams ‘affair’ to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, please, I was your bit on the side for well over a year, I think I can read between the lines. I know you. And I’m giving you the chance to end it now, without Chrissie knowing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I can change?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to believe you can,” she says. “The way you are with Seb. There’s something there and I need it to grow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This your way of telling me he’s mine?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, well, well,” a voice says from the doorway, and Rebecca and Robert both whip their heads around to see Lachlan looking infuriatingly smug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lachlan,” Rebecca says. “How long have you been there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Long enough,” he replies, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t you be at school?” Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably,” says Lachlan, crossing his arms. “But here’s an idea: you don’t tell mum I’m skiving, and I won’t tell her that her sister’s illegitimate son is the product of an affair with her husband.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll come out eventually,” Rebecca says to Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On our own terms, yeah,” he says, not taking his eyes off the little devil. “You have a deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But that’s not exactly a fair trade off, is it? I mean, not going to school, that’s not a big deal; but cheating on my mum with her lesbian sister and having kid out of it? That’s huge, Robert.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, fine, what do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to turn me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lachlan, you don’t want that,” Rebecca says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I think I do,” Lachlan says, and he starts advancing on Robert until he’s standing just a foot away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be turned when you’re 18,” Robert says. “You know the deal. You’re too young now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“D’you think I care about that? I hate it here. No one likes me, I’ve got no friends, girls won’t talk to me,” Lachlan says, fuming. “If I get turned now, I can leave. I’ll have all the strength in the world to get whatever I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rebecca’s long since placed Robert’s phone on the island, and is now coming up to Lachlan and Robert carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Becoming a vampire isn’t going to get you a girlfriend, Lachlan,” Bex says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not? Got Robert a village slag on the side, didn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not exactly—no, no, it didn’t,” Robert says, because really it didn’t. Did it? Well, Aaron isn’t a “slag” for one, so technically that’s not what happened. The vampire thing is up for debate though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter. I want to be a vampire </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Robert,” Lachlan says. “And if you don’t turn me, then I will tell mum everything I heard you two talk about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t turn you, Lachlan. It’s completely irresponsible. What would your mother think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would she think about this mysterious A?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robert’s right, Lachlan, okay?” Rebecca says, attempting to pacify the situation by laying a hand on Lachlan’s arm, but he shrugs it off. “We’ll talk to Chrissie, alright? Please don’t make Robert do this, you’re still a kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about money?” Robert says. “Please, I don’t want to hurt your mum, just let me give you money.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What money?” Lachlan scoffs. “You gonna rob granddad? That’s your great plan, is it? Pay me off with money that isn’t even yours? Money you only married my mum to get your hands on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, you can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>make</span>
  </em>
  <span> me do anything. I’m a lot stronger than you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Physically, maybe, but I’ve been living in this world for quite a few years now,” Lachlan says, and he pulls a flask from his jacket pocket. “I know what hurts vampires. And I know how to hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert puts his hands up in front of him in defense, backing away as Lachlan unscrews the top of the flask of holy water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, look, we can figure this out,” Robert says, literally begging for his life now, keeping a worried eye on Lachlan’s flask. “Whatever you want, just not—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I want!” Lachlan yells, lunging at Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert trips and lands on the floor with a thud, and Lachlan scrambles over and pours the holy water over Robert’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seeps through his shirt and </span>
  <em>
    <span>burns</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears immediately come to his eyes and through his blurred vision he can see Rebecca pull Lachlan, looking so bloody pleased with himself, off him and push him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurts too much to focus. He grabs at his chest, tearing at his shirt, trying to get it out of the way, but also not knowing what to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Blood?” He grits out, through the pain, horrified by the twisting sizzling red flesh he can see now beneath his torn button-up. “The fridge. Warm it up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rebecca’s at his side now, on her knees, shaking hands hovering over Robert’s torso.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that won’t work,” she says, bringing a hand up to his face that feels like it’s burning too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flinches away, and groans, bringing a fist up to his fangs and biting into his hand, hoping that’ll distract him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m calling Emma,” Bex says, grabbing for Robert’s mobile on the island since it’s the closest. “You need werewolf blood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-w-werewolf blood?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I don’t know why it helps, it just does—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, call Aaron,” he says, and he doesn’t mean to. Really, he doesn’t mean to, but he needs him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aaron?” Rebecca says, and she starts scrolling frantically through Robert’s contacts. “I don’t—I don’t see him here. You don’t have his number.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck, he has to…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A,” Robert says, the pain suddenly feeling worse, blood dripping down his arm and face from where he bit his hand. “Aaron is A.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Robert,” Rebecca says, staring down at him, this stunned, meaningful look on her face. “Oh my God.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that’s the last thing he hears before he passes out.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i hope that was worth the wait lol. i needed to take a break for a while to focus on some other stuff, but hopefully i'll get this done soon. i'd like to finish at 10 chapters but i can't be sure of everything. </p><p>thanks for reading, reminder to check out the very sexy playlist which is linked in chapter one. it truly a mix of jams.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. out of the cradle and into the coffin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aaron barely has time to see the bubbling flesh across Robert's chest before Rebecca's flashing the needle, holding up a rubber tourniquet, and saying, "roll up your sleeve."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"He needs your blood now," she says. "I'm doing this properly, okay. I'm going to find a vein, I'm going to draw a lot of blood. It's not going to be fun. Roll up your sleeve."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>warnings for needles and references to aaron cutting.</p><p>title is from too much, too often by phantom planet.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's all a blur, really. The frantic phone call from Rebecca on Robert's phone. Finding Emma and Seb at the park. Hurried driving to Home Farm, his breathing too fast, his brain too full, the air too thick and worried. Emma is giving him a sympathetic, knowing look the whole drive and he hates it. <em> Stop staring </em>! he wants to shout, but is too aware of the near six month old falling asleep in the back. </p><p>Babies sleep well in cars. Even in ones speeding through farm country so you can save the life of your vampire lover.</p><p>Emma seems to know. Rebecca must know. What about Chrissie? Lachlan? Lawrence? Jesus, what about Vic?</p><p>There's this horrible euphoria tugging at him as he grips the steering wheel with all his strength, thinking that maybe it's out now. Maybe Robert will be out. Maybe this can be something real. Maybe Robert will say he loves him too and they can be happy.</p><p>At the cost of what though? </p><p>At Home Farm, Rebecca is terribly prepared.  She's got Lawrence trying to feed Robert blood to keep him conscious which clearly isn't working, while she readies a needle and syringe.</p><p>Aaron barely has time to see the bubbling flesh across Robert's chest before Rebecca's flashing the needle, holding up a rubber tourniquet, and saying, "roll up your sleeve."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"He needs your blood now," she says. "I'm doing this properly, okay. I'm going to find a vein, I'm going to draw a lot of blood. It's not going to be fun. Roll up your sleeve."</p><p>Aaron doesn't think. He rolls up his sleeve, and he can't tell if Rebecca doesn't see the lines of scars or if she just doesn't care as she grabs his arm, ties the tourniquet above Aaron's elbow and taps at his arm for a vein.</p><p>"You ready?" She says, eyes pleading, needle ready.</p><p>"Yeah," he says. "Just do it."</p><p>It's a slow thing, the needle carefully sliding in, and blood being drawn out.</p><p>Lawrence is attempting to pour blood down Robert's throat, but Robert doesn't seem to be waking up. </p><p>"What the fuck is happening?" Aaron says, because really <em> what the fuck is happening? </em></p><p>"Lachlan wanted to be changed," Rebecca says. "Robert wouldn't do it. He attacked him."</p><p>"Where is he now?"</p><p>"I don't know," she replies. "He ran off."</p><p>"Where's Chrissie?"</p><p>"In town," Lawrence says, putting the cup of blood down and wiping at Robert's bloody face with a towel. "I called her. She'll be looking for Lachlan."</p><p>"You didn't tell her about Robert?"</p><p>"Not everything," Rebecca says, now pulling the needle from Aaron's arm. "Dad, can you get Aaron some chocolate or something. I need to take more blood."</p><p>She sets down the full syringe and readies another needle as Lawrence moves round the kitchen island to look through cupboards.</p><p>Rebecca's got another needle in his arm by the time Lawrence hands Aaron a bar of chocolate and a glass of water.</p><p>"Go look for Lachlan," Rebecca says to Lawrence, and he complies, passing Emma with Seb in her arms on his way out. "Go back to the village, Em. He only needs me and Aaron right now."</p><p>"You sure I can't do anything?"</p><p>"Just take care of our son," Rebecca says. "I need to get his dad in working order, don't I?"</p><p>Emma leaves and Aaron and Rebecca are alone sitting on the floor with Robert passed out next to them.</p><p>Rebecca is focusing on drawing the blood out slowly, calmly and Aaron watches her, amazed her hands aren't shaking. He feels like he might start shaking soon. Blood loss and anxiety aren't a great mix.</p><p>He looks over at Robert, all third degree burns and blood drying on his face and neck and hands, and he doesn't even realize he's crying until he lets out a choking sob and Rebecca stops drawing blood for a moment to hold his hand.</p><p>"He'll be alright," she says and then she gets back to work.</p><p>"He looks pathetic," Aaron says, willing the tears to stop.</p><p>"He is pathetic," says Rebecca.</p><p>Aaron laughs despite himself, despite Robert maybe dying, and despite Rebecca's knowing look.</p><p>Rebecca carefully takes the needle out and sets it down next to the other syringe.</p><p>Aaron self-consciously pulls his sleeve down and crosses his arms tightly, a shiver running through him as he feels the lightheadedness hit him.</p><p>"Drink the water and eat some chocolate," she says. "Don't want you passing out on me too."</p><p>He nods, necking back the water, knowing he's gonna be dehydrated anyway from crying all the damn time. </p><p>"Sit with him," Rebecca says. "I need to prepare the bandages."</p><p>Aaron slides over to Robert and pulls him up against him, careful not to touch the burns. He's not breathing, there's no heartbeat, but he's warm—still alive in Aaron's arms.</p><p>"Stupid way to die," Aaron says. "I know you. Wanna go out in a blaze of glory or summat. You'll be fine, yeah?"</p><p>Aaron can't see Rebecca, he's too busy looking down at Robert, memorizing all the bloodied contours of his face, but he can hear her behind him at the island.</p><p>She's cutting strips of gauze, he thinks.</p><p>"You love him," she says, too quiet for a human to hear, but Aaron catches it loud and clear.</p><p>"Yeah," he says.</p><p>"He loves you?"</p><p>"I don't know," he says. "I think so… Yeah… Yes. He does."</p><p>"I should've seen it," she says, and he can smell guilt on her through the stink of burning flesh and blood on Robert. "I mean, I knew he was cheating. I just thought… Well, I should've known."</p><p>"How could you have known?" Aaron says. "Can't exactly trust gaydar. I don't think it's actually a thing."</p><p>"It's not that, really. I guess I just thought I would've been able to tell if he hadn't been into it. But I guess I faked it well enough too."</p><p>"He was," Aaron says. "Into it. With you. He loved ya."</p><p>"Oh," Rebecca says. "Well, I certainly wasn't able to tell <em> that </em>."</p><p>"That's our Robert, eh," Aaron says. "All too good at hiding his emotions."</p><p>"Not with you though."</p><p>Aaron looks at Robert, this stupid man he loves, and smiles.</p><p>"No," Aaron says. "Not with me."</p><p> </p><p>When Robert is bandaged and wakes up, Aaron helps him to bed. He's quiet, he says he's not in pain, Aaron's blood helps. Aaron tucks him in and Robert grabs his wrist loosely as Aaron is cleaning his face and neck of blood.</p><p>"Bex knows," he says, pulling at Aaron until he's sitting on the bed next to him.</p><p>"I know," Aaron says, dropping the washcloth on the nightstand and then turning back to Robert. "It's alright. She won't tell anyone."</p><p>"She hates me," Robert says, his bottom lip quivering. "I wanted to make it right for Seb, but she hates me."</p><p>"Don't be daft," Aaron says. "Of all things, she understands this."</p><p>"Maybe," Robert says, shifting his gaze to a spot on the wall, before snapping his eyes back to Aaron. "Shit, what about Lachlan?"</p><p>"He's missing," Aaron says. "Chrissie and Lawrence are out looking for him. Emma too, probably."</p><p>"I don't know if he knows," Robert says, panic rising in his voice. "I don't—he'll tell Chrissie!"</p><p>Aaron pushes him back down, careful not to touch his chest.</p><p>"It'll be okay," he says. "You need to rest."</p><p>"But—"</p><p>"No, you need to rest," Aaron says. "Rebecca said you'll heal quicker if you're asleep. Saving energy or something."</p><p>"Will you stay?"</p><p>"Shouldn't."</p><p>"But you want to," Robert says, but almost like he doesn't believe it.</p><p>"Course I do, ya idiot."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>"Don't have to thank me," Aaron says. "<em> You know </em>."</p><p>"Yeah, I know," Robert says, softly and burrows deep into the pillows and starts to nod off.</p><p>Aaron leans over and kisses his forehead and it feels like the most intimate he's ever been with him. It feels too big, too meaningful, like he never wants to back away. Love is horrifying.</p><p>When he gets up and turns to leave, Rebecca is in the door. She gives him a tight smile, but it's warm, non-judgemental.</p><p>He nods as he passes her and she follows him into the hall.</p><p>“So,” Aaron says, looking everywhere but Rebecca, feeling self-conscious. “How’d you know about the werewolf blood thing.”</p><p>“Family of vampires, werewolf wife,” she says. “You find things out.”</p><p>“Right, course,” Aaron says, nodding, still not looking at her. “Could’ve just got Emma. Why’d you call me?”</p><p>“He asked for you,” Rebecca says, trying to catch Aaron’s gaze. “He outed himself to me, because he wanted you here.”</p><p>Finally, he looks at her, feeling stupid, feeling like he’s going to cry again.</p><p>"We're not actually together anymore," Aaron says. "He ended it to figure stuff out. To be there for Seb and you."</p><p>"I see," she says, and gives him an expectant look. "But…?</p><p>Aaron can feel his eyes stinging and he pushes his fingers over the bridge of his nose, trying to will away the tears.</p><p>"But I think he wants to be with me," he says, running a sleeve across his nose as he sniffs. </p><p>"Alright," Rebecca says.</p><p>“He’s worried Lachlan might know about us.”</p><p>“He knows Seb is Robert’s,” Rebecca replies. “And he knows he’s been having an affair, but he ran off before Robert told me to call you.”</p><p>“Only a matter of time though, isn’t it?”</p><p>Rebecca brings a hand to Aaron’s arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze.</p><p>"I'm gonna talk to him, Aaron," she says. "We'll figure this out."</p><p> </p><p>It's past the full moon and Aaron doesn't fully transform usually when it isn't, but he's itching to wolf out. He's not sure if it's the blood loss or the dehydration from crying the entire drive home, but energy is thrumming through his veins and he needs that freedom of letting go. As soon as he pulls into the drive, he jumps out and jogs off into the woods before falling to his knees amongst the brush and feeling the shift take him.</p><p>He runs. </p><p>He runs and runs until he sees Lachlan.</p><p>He's sitting against a tree, scrolling through his phone looking entirely unbothered.</p><p>Aaron inches closer, twigs snapping beneath his paws, until Lachlan looks up. He can tell he doesn't know what to do then. Run? Sit still? Play dead?</p><p>Aaron sits and just stares and Lachlan stares back. </p><p>Aaron's stupidly enjoying this—putting the fear of God into Lachlan by merely existing. But Lachlan seems to grow confident, and a smile stretches across his face.</p><p>"Mum said there were wolves here," Lachlan says. "You're one of them, aren't you?"</p><p>Aaron, obviously, says nothing, just tilts his head, trying to look unimpressed.</p><p>"Alright, whatever," says Lachlan. "Don't tell anyone you saw me, yeah? Better to make them sweat."</p><p>Aaron growls tiredly and makes the apt decision to ignore Lachlan. He begins <em> howling </em>. </p><p>Lachlan's eyes go wide, he mutters "shit!", and then picks himself up and starts running.</p><p><em> Stupid </em> , Aaron thinks to himself. <em> I got your scent, idiot. </em></p><p>He decides to take his time walking back home.</p><p> </p><p>When he gets home, he doesn't shift back. Just curls up on the floor in the living room. He's tired. So sick of loving Robert and being unsure of the future. He's never really thought about the future before. It used to be about living one day at a time, making sure he didn't cut, trying to keep his head up, trying to be a good son to his mum, and a good brother and guardian to Liv. Life used to just be about surviving, but now all he can think about is this future he could have with Robert if only Robert would be honest with himself. He has to believe there's a chance, doesn't he? He has to have hope. Everyone always tells him to have hope.</p><p>But he's got this sinking feeling in his stomach that Robert will never come round. This wrenching twist in his gut that when he'd told Rebecca that Robert loved him, it had been a lie.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i am so sleepy, i'm taking a week long nap before i write the next chapter lol. love y'all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. i'd like to steer away from you, my friends told me to keep clear of you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert doesn't even have time to talk before shit hits the fan.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm gonna be honest, i know shit happens in this chapter but i don't remember writing any of it. so y'kno. have fun with whatever you get here.</p><p>title is from where evil grows by the poppy family, i have the shilpa ray cover on the playlist (it's the theme for the limited series new eden (2020) if you can find it you should watch it because it is the greatest show ever and changed my life and half of my personality thanks for coming to my tedtalk)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Getting attacked and nearly killed by his stepson a week before his birthday might actually be the lowest point of Robert's life. Is this rock bottom? Or is that just being stuck in bed for hours on end because holy water burns 1. hurt and 2. take for-bloody-ever to heal? Probably not rock bottom. Probably just the holy water burns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rebecca keeps trying to </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk</span>
  </em>
  <span> to him. She shoots him up with Emma's blood as a painkiller and he wishes Aaron were here in bed beside him giving him his blood instead. Robert pretends to sleep, trying to make it seem like the wolf blood has knocked him out, when in reality it makes him very much awake, just not in pain. He's stoned but he's </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>lucid and Rebecca knows him well enough to know he's faking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolls over to look at her where she's sitting on the edge of the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm straight," he says, because she keeps trying to be open and understanding and enlightened or whatever the shit she likes to call herself after cult hopping for years. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were having an affair with a man," Bex says, giving him a </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert shrugs, "It was a mistake."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The affair or the man?" Rebecca says, because she knows him too well and she probably talked to Aaron. "Because cheating: not the greatest idea; but if you love him—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bex, I told you—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>If you love him</span>
  </em>
  <span>," she repeats louder, firmly, "you've got to know there's nothing wrong with that."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm married."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, to my sister."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert rolls his eyes and turns on his side again, looking away from Rebecca.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can talk to me, Robert," Bex says. "Just me, maybe Emma if you want, and it won't go any further. Before shit hits the fan, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>to talk about this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert doesn't even have time to talk before shit hits the fan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chrissie comes home screaming after she's found Lachlan. Seb immediately starts crying. Bex doesn't know who she needs to calm down first.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It all happens so quickly. One moment Robert is holed up in bed and the next he's being kicked out of Home Farm and sent packing to the pub. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert sits at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, Diane and Vic across from him sending him worried looks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course you're welcome to stay here, pet," Diane says. "But why did she kick you out?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert groans into the heels of his hands and then drags his palms down in his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess it'll be round the village in no time," Robert says. "So, long story short, I'm Seb's father. Lachlan found out, told Chrissie, and now she's threatening divorce."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Robert, you didn't—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I thought Rebecca was a lesbian," Diane says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Diane—" Vic says, but Robert continues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She's kicked Bex, Emma, and Seb out as well," Robert says. "And I'm not going to talk about Bex with you. Yes, she's a lesbian. That's irrelevant."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where are they staying?" Vic asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"B&amp;B."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Call Bex up and tell her they can stay with me and Adam," Vic says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You sure?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you kidding?" Vic says, breaking into a grin. "My nephew and his two mums? Of course!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Glad you found a bright side in all this," says Robert, leaning back. "I have to grovel at my wife's feet and hopes she forgives me for sleeping with her sister."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know it seems like the end of the world, but you've got a son, Robert!" Diane says. "And you and Rebecca are getting on, aren't ya? Focus on being a dad."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What about my marriage?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not gonna lie, Rob," Vic says. "Most of us don't even like Chrissie."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks for that," he replies, scoffing. "I'd rather not get divorced, if I can help it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You did cheat, Robert," Vic says. "With her sister."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, obviously I made a mistake and because of that, I won't get anything in a divorce."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't call Seb a mistake, that isn't—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Cheating</span>
  </em>
  <span> was a mistake," Robert says. "But I love Seb. I'll do anything for him. I have to stay with Chrissie if I want to secure his future."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sounds like you don't particularly want to be with Chrissie anyway," says Diane.</span>
</p><p><span>"</span><em><span>Sounds</span></em> <em><span>like</span></em><span> he's only ever been in it for the money," Vic says. </span></p><p>
  <span>"No, I love Chrissie. I made one mistake over a year ago and now I—" he goes to point at his chest but he pokes hard at the burn through his shirt, and doubles over in pain. "Argh, fuck!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slaps a hand on the table and then clenches his fist as Vic and Diane both hop up and run around to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn't know how to explain this. He just listens to them ask what's wrong, feels Vic rub at his back, and says nothing. Would now be the time to tell them he's a vampire? Should he have told them ages ago? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laying in bed in pain wasn't rock bottom, but he can feel it creeping up on him. He's about to lose everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I need to go," he says, pushing out of the chair and away from his sister's and his stepmum's worried doting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He goes through to the pub, Vic and Diane hot on his heels, and there's Chrissie. Fuming. Ready. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There he is," she says, looking past where Chas is tending the bar, to Robert coming through. "You know, it's funny. I give you the greatest gift you could possibly get in this world, and you throw it back in my face. You suck me and my family dry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your son </span>
  <em>
    <span>attacked</span>
  </em>
  <span> me, Chrissie," Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He did what?" Diane gasps, coming up beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You got what was coming though, didn't you?" Chrissie spits. "I should've known. I should've never married you. Should've never turned you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's she on about?" Chas says, turning to Robert, Vic, and Diane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm talking about my husband sleeping with my lesbian sister behind my back and knocking her up," Chrissie says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Maaaate</span>
  </em>
  <span>, what?" Adam, who's sat at the bar drinking a beer, says leaning forward, clearly trying to decide whether he should look horrified or delighted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert doesn't even know what to say. He just lets everyone talk around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's this 'turned you' business," says Vic. "What's that mean?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh," Chrissie says, laughing bitterly. "He never told you? A village full of werewolves and he couldn't tell his family he's a vampire."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?" Chas says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Vampires aren't real, are they?" Adam says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Believe me," Chrissie says, voice dripping with venom. "They're real and Robert's the worst of them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can talk," Robert says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Excuse me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kick me out all you want, I know I messed up and I'm sorry," Robert says. "But punishing Bex as well? She slept with me because she was struggling and no one could see it! You're her sister, Chrissie. You should bloody well act like it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chrissie scoffs, looks around the bar at everyone staring at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not Seb's fault his dad's a screw up," he says, and then turns around and heads back to the backroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hears Vic say, "I think you should leave", before he's out of earshot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flops down on the sofa and waits for whoever feels like hounding him to show up until he hears the footsteps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, Lachlan attacked ya, did he?" Vic says, sitting down next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He wanted to be turned and I wouldn't do it because he's not 18 yet."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Honourable," Vic says, though she looks entirely unimpressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shut up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And vampires are real?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yup."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And you are one?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, you drink blood?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And you'll live forever?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," he says, sadness settling in him now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why would you do that, Robert?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wanted too much, I guess."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't… kill people, do ya?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, Vic, I don't kill people," Robert says. "It doesn't actually work like that. Lawrence's got connections at hospital, so we're usually stocked up on the good stuff."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay," she says, then reaches her hand over to hover above Robert's chest. "What did he do to ya?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Threw holy water on me. Pretty bad third degree burns."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you'll heal. That's a vampire thing, right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Slowly," he says. "If it hadn't been for Bex and Aaron, I could've died."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Werewolf blood heals holy burns," Robert explains. "Aaron's a mate. I trusted him to help and he did."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Didn't know you two were that close."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, it was a long shot," says Robert. "Could've been Emma but I knew she had to look after Seb. Aaron was the first person I thought of."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is so weird," Vic says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You grew up around werewolves, you're marrying a werewolf, but vampires existing is weird?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And that your vampire wife who turned you is gonna divorce you for sleeping with her gay sister and having a baby with her. That's pretty weird, Rob."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Bex didn't know she was gay then," Robert says. "And I was human and stupid and greedy."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're still stupid and greedy," Vic says and Robert nods in agreement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I know."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chas isn't happy Robert's staying at the pub, but she lets him anyway. He knows she's friends with Katie and has definitely heard all the horror stories Katie and Andy have to tell, but he's not that bothered anymore. He's too exhausted for anger at anyone now, he just feels sorry for himself. He misses Aaron. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Idiot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loves him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Idiot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He considers popping round to the Mill just so he can sit beside him for a while, but he knows he shouldn't. He's supposed to be figuring stuff out, getting his head sorted. But what is there to figure out anyway? He </span>
  <em>
    <span>loves </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chrissie. He needs to get back into her good books, not trying to decide if he wants to fuck a man for the rest of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's not gay, never has been.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Something's wrong with Aaron!" says a voice from the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert's on the sofa, Chas is in the kitchen cooking tea while Diane minds the bar, and they both whip their heads around in shock to see Liv, tears in her eyes, standing anxious where she's just burst through the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chas drops the knife where she's in the middle of chopping vegetables and runs over and Robert bolts up off the sofa and goes as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is he alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you care?" Chas shoots at him and Robert has to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We're mates, alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know what's going on," Liv cries. "I've never seen him like this. He won't shift back."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where is he?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"At home," Liv says. "I got home from school and at first I didn't notice, but then Adam came round. He thinks he's been stuck like this all day. He's acting really weird and sad. I dunno what to do, Chas!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"All day?" Robert says, dumbly, and starts to tune out Chas cajoling Liv and ushering her out the door to run to the Mill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He falls into step behind them and can't stop thinking that this is his fault.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they get to the Mill, Adam looks up from where he's sitting cross-legged in front of the sofa, sees Robert, and grins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Speak of the devil, eh?" He says. "Or should I say vampire?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron, in his wolf form, black coat with tufts of white and gray fur and piercing blue eyes, looks at Adam and gives him what can only be described as a withering side eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What? That's what he is!" Adam says, and laughs as Aaron just shakes his head and lies down beside him on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert suddenly feels extremely uncomfortable. He'd gone on instinct, drawn irrevocably to Aaron. But standing there, looking down at Aaron in his wolf form, head resting on Adam's knee, Robert feels out of his depth. He feels like he's drowning or that he wishes he were. He's never seen Aaron like this—powerful, fierce, capable of anything, but when Robert looks at him, he seems more vulnerable than ever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's stuck in the doorway, overcome, as Liv and Chas both go to sit with Aaron and Adam. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How long has he been like this?" Chas asks, hands stroking over Aaron's head and ears and neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A while, I think," Adam says, patting Aaron on the back, but Aaron hops up, tired or annoyed of the attention and trots away from them, claws clicking on the floor all the way to the kitchen. "Aw, come on, mate."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He doesn't shift during the day," Liv says, tears still streaming down her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's alright, sweetheart," Chas says. "We'll figure it out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry," Robert says, awkwardly. "I should go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns and leaves, feeling stupid. The pain in his chest starts up, but it isn't burning. It's something else. Something like fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is this rock bottom? Feeling utterly helpless to do anything for the man you love, because no one but the two of you know that love is even there? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he realizes it, he's on the ground outside the Mill, growling behind him and claws piercing into his shoulders. He pushes up on his elbows, and Aaron backs off enough to let him sit up and turn around and look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Adam, Chas, and Liv have run out after him, but keeping their distance as he bares his teeth at Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aaron stares, pushes into Robert's face, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>growls</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but his eyes aren't angry. Christ, Robert can read him, even like this. Robert stares back, letting breaths come, and his fangs descend until they're facing off here on the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert swears to God Aaron </span>
  <em>
    <span>scoffs </span>
  </em>
  <span>at him, with his fangs and snout and blue, blue eyes—the only indicator he isn't a regular wolf. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Chrissie wants a divorce," Robert says. "She kicked me out. And Bex and Emma and Seb."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're him," Adam says, clearly not believing it, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>knowing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's who?" Chas says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert looks up at Adam, knowing he's the one who blew it, but he still pleads with his eyes until Adam shakes his head at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron's been seeing a married bloke," he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron!" Chas scolds, and Aaron sits back and hangs his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Liv goes to him, tries to pat his neck, but he swerves, picks himself up and walks back inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right," Chas says, looking at Robert. "I think you should go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please don't tell anyone else," Robert says. "I need to fix my marriage, I'm begging you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows he looks bloody pathetic, sitting on the ground, blood starting to seep through his shirt. This would be the perfect time for the earth to open up and swallow him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's a bit too late for that now, don't ya think?" Chas says. "Katie warned me about you. And I know the Woolie's Diane's pub too, so she can let you crawl to her because your wife finds out you're a cheat and liar; but look what you've done to my son. You're gonna need to stay somewhere else."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She heads back inside, Liv following her, but Adam stays out with Robert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's over now, yeah?" he says, offering Robert a hand and helping him to his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert crosses an arm over his chest and wipes at his jeans with the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the Hell am I supposed to do now?" Robert says. "Chas'll tell someone and soon the whole village will know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She can hate you, but she won't out you," Adam says. "Wouldn't out anyone. She's not like at."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Out me? I'm not gay!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine," Adam says, shrugging.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not," Robert says. "I'm straight and I love my wife."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, that's what Aaron told me you'd say when you were together," Adam says. "I think he loves ya, mate. And no offense, it looks like you love him too 'n' all."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Robert says nothing. Doesn't know what to say. Can't say the same things he's been saying over and over because now… Does he love Chrissie? Is he straight? He doesn't know what he is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows what he wants though. He wants Aaron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's just not sure if he's ready to admit that. Least of all to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Adam</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Talk to Vic," says Adam. "She won't judge. One of the only people in the village who'll hear you out, I reckon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And you talking to me, what's that?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aaron's me best mate, Robert. If he wants ya, he wants ya. I just wanna know where you stand, right."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He goes for a walk in the woods.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>anyway here's aaron and his withering side eye he is a KING A KING I TELL YOU.<br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. don't feed it, it will come back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"You don't have to know yet, alright?" he says. "Lots of people say they always knew and there was never a question, but… It were hard for me. Weren't certain 'til 18 and even then I couldn't except it for a while. It's different for everyone."</p><p>"Robert?"</p><p>"What about Robert?"</p><p>"He's got a wife, Aaron," Liv says, rolling her eyes. "Is he gay or just a cheat?"</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD (liv content).</p><p>so i tend to write mostly dialogue anyway but this chapter is like intensely dialogue heavy because it is my only strength in the world next to being a goth lesbian icon. </p><p>anyway title is from it will come back by hozier obviously which i think is in fact my most listened song on my spotify repeat rewind playlist. for obvious reasons of course. i am a hozier dyke.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron spends the evening curled up on the sofa watching Liv play video games. It took a while but he finally snarled his mum and Adam away. He pulls an old pizza box from the recycling and drops it on the floor in front of Liv so she knows to order a pizza. </p><p>"Is it my fault?" she says, in the middle of eating a slice of pizza.</p><p>Aaron quirks his head at her.</p><p>"You've been different since you got back from France," Liv says. "Sadder. And I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to do."</p><p>Aaron shakes his head and flops down on the sofa cushions and drops his head in Liv's nap. He nudges at her stomach a bit until she puts down her slice of pizza and wraps her arms around his neck. She presses her forehead between his ears and he pushes back up against her.</p><p><em> It's not your job to take care of me </em> , he wants to say. <em> I'm the one who's fucking up. </em></p><p> </p><p>He finally shifts back when Liv's gone up to bed. He rushes up the stairs and puts clothes on. He's not tired. He knows he should be after today, but he's not. Stupid brain won't shut off. </p><p>There's light coming from under Liv's door so he knocks and barely a second later, Liv's swung the door open and wrapped her arms around him.</p><p>"You're alright," she says against his chest.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm good," Aaron says, holding his sister close. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare ya."</p><p>"Well, I'm gonna worry, aren't I?" she replies. "Can't help it."</p><p>"Yeah, me too," he says. "It's not your fault. You weren't to know what was going on with me. I've been stupid."</p><p>Liv pulls away from him and leans in the door, that distinctive look of judgement on her face.</p><p>"Seriously, Aaron," she says. "Not even just a married bloke, but Robert flamin' Sugden? You're out of your mind."</p><p>"It just sort of… happened," he says. "And I'm not gonna talk about my love life with you. You're 15."</p><p>"You ask me if I've got crushes on people all the time!"</p><p>"Yeah, 'cause I'm your legal guardian and I'm lookin' out for ya," Aaron says. "You don't know what the blokes 'round here are like."</p><p>"What if I don't like a bloke," Liv says, looking down at her feet, shuffling them a bit.</p><p>"Are you comin' out to me?"</p><p>"I dunno," she mumbles. "Just don't like blokes."</p><p>"You don't have to like blokes, y'know?"</p><p>"I know," she says, snapping her head up, utterly defensive.</p><p>Aaron tries not to smile and Liv narrows her eyes at him.</p><p>"Do you like girls?" he says slowly.</p><p>Liv shrugs, "maybe."</p><p>"Gabby?"</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"You don't have to know yet, alright?" he says. "Lots of people say they always knew and there was never a question, but… It were hard for me. Weren't certain 'til 18 and even then I couldn't except it for a while. It's different for everyone."</p><p>"Robert?"</p><p>"What about Robert?"</p><p>"He's got a wife, Aaron," Liv says, rolling her eyes. "Is he gay or just a cheat?"</p><p>"Well, that's got nothing to do with you, so I'm not gonna talk to you about it."</p><p>"Whatever," she says. </p><p>"Liv."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I'm not gonna do anything stupid," he squeezes her shoulder and she shrugs him off making him smile fondly. "Today was just a bad day. For me and Robert. Robert especially."</p><p>"His wife don't even know about ya yet."</p><p>"Yeah, I guess I'm dreading how that'll go over but, we're figuring it out," he says. "We're gonna figure this out. But I'm not too busy you can't talk to me, y'know. If you're struggling with your sexuality, just talk to me, yeah? Whatever questions you have."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"You got any questions?"</p><p>"How do you ask out a girl?"</p><p>Aaron stares blankly at her.</p><p>"Alright, I know Charity's been with women before, so she might have a better answer for you there."</p><p>"I'm not gonna take relationship advice from Charity!"</p><p>"Yeah, that's not exactly a sound idea."</p><p>Liv laughs and Aaron laughs with her. He's happy, feeling light for the first time in months. </p><p>"Hey, Aaron?" Liv says after a moment of them standing in comfortable silence.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Love ya."</p><p>"Lova ya too, Liv," he reaches out and pulls her into another hug. "Just talk to Gabby, yeah?"</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"Alright, you, go to bed," he says, pushing Liv away into her room. "School night."</p><p>Not long after Liv closes her door, her light goes off and Aaron goes about looking for his mobile. He's nearly torn apart his bedroom before he remembers he'd left it in the car before running off into the woods and shifting this morning. He goes downstairs, pulls his shoes on, and goes out to the car.</p><p>He sits at the wheel thinking he might go for a drive, clear his head, find Robert…</p><p>He grabs his phone from the passenger seat.</p><p>There's a text from Robert and he doesn't know if he's surprised or not. Either way, his heart clenches as he reads the two simple words:</p><p>
  <em> I'm sorry. </em>
</p><p>He can't help himself. He calls him.</p><p>The phone barely rings before he hears Robert on the other end.</p><p>"Aaron?"</p><p>"You find somewhere other than the pub to stay then?"</p><p>"Yeah, actually," Robert says. "Chrissie let Bex and Emma and Seb come back to Home Farm, so I'm staying in Vic's box room. Are you alright?"</p><p>"Spent longer than I ever have as a wolf," Aaron says, scoffing slightly. "What do you think?"</p><p>"I think I hurt you," Robert says. "I can't bare that, Aaron. I care about you too much."</p><p>"Do ya?"</p><p>"You know I do."</p><p>Aaron sighs. He's not even angry at Robert, he never was.</p><p>"You didn't hurt me, Robert," Aaron says. "I hurt meself. It's what I do when I bottle things. Feel guilty."</p><p>"What do you feel guilty for?"</p><p>"Everything," Aaron says, and then pauses a moment to think if there's something specific. Something more obvious. "Everything."</p><p>"I know how you feel."</p><p>"You just feel sorry for yourself."</p><p>"Oh, I definitely feel sorry for myself," Robert says, a little bitter laugh in his throat. "But I know guilt all too well. It doesn't just go away."</p><p>"You actually feel guilty for cheatin', then?" Aaron says, and it's meant to be a joke but Robert says nothing.</p><p>The silence is thick, hanging between them, but Aaron can hear Robert breathing.</p><p>"Rob," he says hesitantly and hears Robert's breath catch. "Are you guilty about <em> who </em> you cheated with? Me? A man?"</p><p>He knows the answer already. It's always been there when they've met up. He could feel it, smell it on him. Guilt. Fear. <em> Shame </em>.</p><p>"I'm not gay," Robert says.</p><p>"You don't have to be," Aaron says.</p><p>"But…"</p><p>"Go on."</p><p>"I'm not straight, am I?" Robert says with a shuddering breath and Aaron tearfully smiles thinking <em> finally </em>. "What's wrong with me?"</p><p>"There is nothing wrong with you," Aaron says, his fingers clenching on his phone. "Listen to me, Robert. <em> Nothing </em>."</p><p>"I wish Vic would stop saying my dad would be proud of me," Robert says. "She has <em> no </em> idea."</p><p>"Maybe you should talk to her about it."</p><p>"No, I can't," he says, quickly. "Can't ruin how she sees him, it's not fair."</p><p>"Something happened with him, yeah?"</p><p>Robert is quiet for a moment, before finally he sniffs, and Aaron wants to hold him. Protect him. Take all that pain and shame away.</p><p>"I spent so long trying to be what he wanted me to be and it just blew up in my face," Robert says. "Is this rock bottom?"</p><p>"Don't know," Aaron says, shrugging. "Depends if you think you can sink any lower than you already feel."</p><p>"Well, your mum knows about us. How much longer before the whole village knows?"</p><p>"It's not her secret to tell, she knows that," Aaron says. "You make it your secret, and you've got the power. No one can hold it against you. It's yours. Ours. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. Whatever your dad did to make you think that, he's wrong. Yeah?"</p><p>"I'm not ready," Robert says quietly.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm not saying jump the gun, Robert," Aaron says. "I'm just saying no one's gonna take away your comin' out to the most important people. Whenever you're ready, it's yours."</p><p>Robert coughs uncomfortably and Aaron can hear him shifting gears.</p><p>"Bex says exercise'll help out with the healing," he says. "Burns've shrunk down to second degree now. She reckons they'll mostly be gone in the morning, but holy water has lingering effects and I should do activities to keep my energy up. Then she said some astrology bullshit that I completely tuned out, but…"</p><p>"Didn't I say this morning you should come runnin' with me?"</p><p>"And your wish comes true," Robert says, and Aaron just knows he's smirking. </p><p>The idiot.</p><p>"How's 6 AM do ya?"</p><p>"Early."</p><p>"Meet me here and I'll have coffee ready."</p><p>"Tempting."</p><p>"Me sweating in shorts ain't enough incentive apparently."</p><p>"Oh, you're all the incentive I need."</p><p>"Then get your arse over here 6 AM tomorrow morning."</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>"Good night, Aaron."</p><p>"Right then, night."</p><p>There's an awkward moment where they both laugh, feeling like there's something else that has to be said but neither one knows what it is. Or maybe neither have the courage to say it.</p><p>"Actually," Robert says, as Aaron's about to hang up.</p><p>He presses his mobile back to his ear and waits.</p><p>"Where are you right now?"</p><p>"In me car," he replies. "Where are you?"</p><p>"The woods."</p><p>"Shouldn't be out there this late," Aaron says. "Dangerous."</p><p>"I'm a creature of the night, Aaron," Robert says. "What could possibly hurt me?"</p><p>"I dunno, I think any of the wolves round here could take you in a fight."</p><p>"And you?"</p><p>"Yeah, I could deffo take ya," Aaron laughs.</p><p>"Wanna test the theory?"</p><p>"What, right now?"</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because it's nearly midnight."</p><p>"You're already in your car," Robert says. "I'm already in the woods."</p><p>"It's been a long day for you, mate," Aaron sighs. "You're injured. You should get some sleep."</p><p>He hears shuffling on the other end and then Robert huffs a laugh.</p><p>"Right, yeah," he says. "Vic's likely wondering where I am."</p><p>"How long have you been out there?"</p><p>"Since I left yours."</p><p>"Mate, that's hours."</p><p>"Yeah, I'm an idiot, I know."</p><p>"You need to change those bandages."</p><p>"Yeah, Vic said Bex gave her everything and told her how," Robert says. "I don't want her to see the burns though."</p><p>"See if Bex can do it?"</p><p>"No, it's late, she's got the baby. She's already put up with enough rubbish from me, I don't wanna trouble her anymore."</p><p>"I can do it."</p><p>"You what?"</p><p>"You need me blood anyway, don't ya?"</p><p>"I think Adam offered some, actually."</p><p>"Pfft, Adam's a baby. I'll do it, yeah?"</p><p>"You're sure?"</p><p>"Yeah, it's fine," Aaron says. "I'll meet you at Vic's in a bit, yeah?"</p><p>"Right, erm, I…" Robert trails off and Aaron can hear rustling through the phone. </p><p>"Robert?"</p><p>"I think I'm lost."</p><p>"You're kidding?"</p><p>"No, no, I'm lost…" he sighs. "Bullocks."</p><p>"Okay, stay on the phone," Aaron says, getting out of the car and shutting the door. "I'll find ya."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"Werewolf, Rob, I've got a heightened sense of smell," he replies. "And I know yours pretty well."</p><p>"Do ya now?"</p><p>"Just stay where you are, yeah?"</p><p>"I won't move a muscle."</p><p>It doesn't take long for Aaron to find Robert half a mile into the brush, really not even that far off from the road. </p><p>"For a lad who grew up on a farm you're a right idiot about the country, you, y'know that?"</p><p>Robert looks up at him from where he's sitting against a tree, red eyes hitting Aaron like a laser. </p><p>Robert smiles and blinks the red away.</p><p>"Blocked it all out, didn't I?"</p><p>Aaron's eyes catch on Robert's grin in the dark. It's bright, pointed, wolfish—coincidentally.</p><p>"You gonna get up then?"</p><p>"You gonna tell me what was up with you today, then?"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Why d'you think, Aaron?" Robert says, impatient, refusing to stand up.</p><p>Aaron looks down at him with his hands on his hips, honestly wishing he didn't have night vision so he wouldn't be able to see the worried look on Robert's face.</p><p>"Because of me, wasn't it?"</p><p>"You're such a dick, you know that?"</p><p>"Yeah, obviously."</p><p>"Not everything is about you, Robert. People do have other problems."</p><p>"What happened then?" Robert says, finally picking himself up off the ground and going to stand in front if Aaron. "Liv said you don't shift during the day."</p><p>"I don't."</p><p>"Are we gonna keep going in circles?"</p><p>"Oh, you can talk," Aaron scoffs. "You gonna be honest about what you want?"</p><p>"I want you," Robert answers without a beat and Aaron blinks at him.</p><p>"You what?"</p><p>"Sorry if I haven't made that clear," Robert says, coming in even closer to Aaron now, slowly backing him up against a tree. "I want <em> you </em>."</p><p>Aaron leans up against the tree, trying to look as non-chalant as he can with Robert so close, leaning down towards him.</p><p>"We're supposed to be keeping our space," Aaron says, despite himself—despite his eyes darting down to Robert's lips, despite him licking his own.</p><p>"Can't help myself," Robert says. "I'm an idiot, I know."</p><p>Robert leans down to kiss him but Aaron swerves, pushing him back slightly.</p><p>"What's wrong?"</p><p>"I didn't shift because of you," Aaron says, needing to get this out, needing Robert to know. "I mean, it <em> was </em>, but it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything. It was me own shitty brain trying to tell me I was lying about you."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"I told Rebecca you loved me, and I felt like it wasn't true," Aaron says. "I just felt stupid for even thinking it and because I'm me, I bottled it and couldn't get out of it for a while."</p><p>"You weren't lying."</p><p>"Don't."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I know you want me, Rob, I get that but… you don't have to tell me you love me just to make me feel better."</p><p>"I wouldn't do that," he says. "I wouldn't lie about that. I can't… I can't say it, but that doesn't mean I don't."</p><p>"Yeah, whatever."</p><p>"Such a wind up," Robert says, chuckling softly and reaching his hand behind Aaron's neck. </p><p>He looks serious then, eyes looking fiercely into his own. </p><p>"I do, okay," Robert says. "Don't ever think that I don't."</p><p>"I do too, by the way."</p><p>"I know," Robert says, shrugging as he pushes away and then grabs Aaron's hands, lacing their fingers together. "Come on. Let's go."</p><p>Robert pulls them along and Aaron is hit with the realization that Robert knows exactly where he's going.</p><p>"You prat, you weren't lost," Aaron says, pulling at Robert's hand in his as they trudge through the forest.</p><p>Robert just winks at him.</p><p>"You just love to waste me time, don't ya?"</p><p>"You love it."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>btw i actually have a new twitter it's @horrordykery. it's so i can be organized or whatever lol. (:</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. i will make a mess of you if you make a mess of me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They go running.</p><p>Nothing happens.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oh my gosh it's the penultimate chapter.</p><p>chapter title from lonely side of the moon by sarah slean.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Friday 14th April </b>
</p><p>They get to Keeper's around half midnight, Aaron still hounding Robert over pretending to be lost just so he'd go out to find him.</p><p>"Seriously, what were you expecting to happen once I'd found ya?"</p><p>"I think you know exactly what," Robert says, lowly, chancing a look at Aaron's lips before turning his attention to opening the door.</p><p>He catches Aaron bite his lip and then turn away rolling his eyes, before Robert realizes the door is locked and he doesn't have a key.</p><p>He's about to knock, when the door swings open.</p><p>Vic stands in the doorway looking irritated and tired, in her pajamas with her hair pulled back into a messy bun. She crosses her arms, blocking Robert's way, and narrows her eyes.</p><p>"Where have you been?" she says.</p><p>"Out for a walk."</p><p>"He got lost," Aaron says, the traitor, and pushes his way past Victoria.</p><p>"And you're here because…" Vic says, following Aaron to the kitchen as Robert follows her and closes the door.</p><p>"I've collected him for ya," says Aaron, opening the fridge and grabbing a beer. "Some gratitude," he waves the bottle of beer in the air, "would be nice."</p><p>"Yes, please, Aaron, help yourself to my beer."</p><p>"This is Adam's beer," Aaron says, opening the bottle and then taking a sip. "Mm, yeah, definitely Adam's. Tastes cheap."</p><p>"Hey!" Adam calls from the living room, where he's sat with the TV turned on low. "That's quality, mate. You best believe it."</p><p>"Yeah, cheap quality," Aaron says, but necks it down all the same.</p><p>"Aaron's gonna help me with my bandages," Robert says, and a moment later Adam splutters, spitting water across the coffee table.</p><p>Vic runs over to him and pats his back while he coughs a moment.</p><p>"Sorry, uh, is that, I mean…" he attempts to get words out, clearly too shocked by Robert <em> and </em> Aaron being in his house after midnight, wide awake, and saying it's for… medical reasons? "Alright, night then."</p><p>He gets up, a shit eating grin on his face pointed directly at Aaron and Robert where they hover by the living room doorway.</p><p>"Am I missing something?" Vic says and Robert tries to shake his head as discreetly as possible at Adam, hoping the desperate <em> 'please' </em>is evident.</p><p>"Nah, babe, just tired," Adam says. "Let's go to bed now."</p><p>"You're all acting dead weird," Vic says, but she's obviously tired, so she just slips past Aaron and Robert with a "good night" and heads upstairs.</p><p>Adam smiles at them both and gives them a thumbs up, which gets him a "do one" and a menacingly pointed beer bottle from Aaron.</p><p>Adam puts his hands up in mock surrender, and slides between them to follow Vic.</p><p>And then they're alone. In the dimly lit living room, looking at each other.</p><p>Aaron's lips are wet and pursed against the beer bottle. There's a wicked look in his eye as he draws the bottle away, and licks his lips.</p><p>He says, "So, you wanna do this upstairs or down here?"</p><p><em> Fuck </em>.</p><p>"Upstairs is probably better," Robert says, trying not to stare at Aaron's mouth. "I think Bex left the bandages in the box room."</p><p>"Let's go then," Aaron says, and Robert catches a breath he doesn't even need.</p><p> </p><p>In the box room things get awkward. Aaron goes about getting the gauze ready, retrieving a small vial of blood Bex had prepared, and averting his eyes as Robert unbuttons his shirt. Robert is caught between wanting to touch Aaron, have Aaron touch him, and the need to keep the space between them wide, to figure out what he wants.</p><p>But that's the catch isn't it? He wants Aaron. He's certain of that. The only thing he isn't certain of is himself. </p><p>Robert sits on the bed, laying back against the pillows, and catches Aaron looking at him. Only his face, refusing to look down at the blood soaked gauze taped across his chest.</p><p>"You're gonna have to look when you're changing the bandage," Robert says.</p><p>"I've seen it all," Aaron says. "That's not…"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"If you want somethin' to happen… It can't," he says. "Not yet anyway. I'm just changin' this, cleanin' you up a bit, and then I'm goin' home. Alright?"</p><p>"Alright."</p><p>"Good, that's sorted then."</p><p>"What if I want you to stay?" Robert says, boldly. "What happens then?"</p><p>Aaron takes a deep breath and twirls a roll of medical tape on his fingers for a moment, thinking.</p><p>"I'm saying I want to be with you, Aaron," Robert says when the silence has dragged out too long. </p><p>"Let's just change the dressing, yeah?" Aaron says and sits down on the bed beside Robert.</p><p>The bed is small. It could probably fit both of them, but only if Robert holds Aaron against him. He wants to hold him so badly, it feels like an itch against his chest.</p><p>Or maybe that's just the burns healing.</p><p>Robert winces as Aaron gingerly removes the old, bloodied gauze. He's so focused on getting it done, on not hurting Robert, and on ignoring him.</p><p>Robert searches his face for something other than concentration and brings a hand up to Aaron's neck, his thumb pressing over his jaw.</p><p>"What happened?" Robert asks, as Aaron looks up from the task at hand. "We were fine a couple minutes ago. I thought we were good?"</p><p>"We are good," Aaron says, and looks back down at Robert's burned chest. They're somewhere between first and second degree now. Hot red and blistered, but definitely healing. </p><p>He pours the blood in the vial into a folded up wad of gauze and makes bloody compressions all over the burned area. All the while, Robert's hand is still on his neck, fingers starting to migrate their way up the back of his head and into his hair. He's not pulling him forward, but Aaron seems to be hovering closer and closer as the seconds stretch out. </p><p>When the new bandages are finally on, Aaron tilts his head up to Robert, leaning forward. </p><p>"Please," Robert whispers in the small space between them, licking his lips and watching as Aaron does the same.</p><p>"We're a mess," Aaron says. "You actually think we could be together, Robert? Look at us."</p><p>"I'm lookin' at you."</p><p>"Stop," Aaron says, but he doesn't look away either, his eyes suddenly caught on Robert's lips.</p><p>"<em> Please </em>," Robert says again, this time firmer, earnest, and terrified. </p><p>"You have to sleep," Aaron says. "We're goin' for a run in the morning, remember?"</p><p>"Then sleep here," Robert says. "I just want to hold you."</p><p>He doesn't know how long they're silent and just looking at one another before Aaron relents, pulling away from Robert, and then laying down next to him. </p><p>He doesn't know how long it is before they fall asleep, the steady rhythm of Aaron's heart beating against Robert's palm where it's pressed to Aaron's chest.</p><p>He doesn't know how long it is after Aaron's left that he wakes up with the blankets pulled up over him. The sun peeks through the window and Robert is alone.</p><p>Robert sighs, bringing his arm up to cover his eyes. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do to get Aaron to stay, to know he's serious. But more than that he doesn't know how to be okay. He certainly doesn't know how to be okay without Aaron. </p><p>He should've done something more last night. He should've kissed him. He should've told him he loves him. He should've—</p><p>The door creaks open and Robert throws his arm off his face. Aaron's there in the door in his running kit, hair unstyled and curly. </p><p>"Thought you'd gone," he says, shifting up the bed and Aaron quietly closes the door.</p><p>"Snuck out, snuck back in," Aaron says.</p><p>"Sly."</p><p>"Werewolf," Aaron says, shrugging.</p><p>"You look too good for this early in the morning," Robert says.</p><p>"You don't look too bad yourself," Aaron says, running his eyes down Robert's body.</p><p>"Half my chest is taped up in gauze," Robert says.</p><p>"Don't change anything," Aaron says, the smallest of smiles on his lips. </p><p>"Come here," Robert says, because he wants him and he's not going to hide it.</p><p>"No, you come here," Aaron says, and well, Robert doesn't need to be told twice.</p><p>He slides out of bed, in nothing but his bandages and underwear and comes to stand in front of Aaron. He leans his arm behind Aaron's head on the wall and leans in close, looking down as Aaron looks up through his lashes.</p><p>God, Aaron will look so sinfully bashful sometimes and it makes him lose his mind. </p><p>"Get dressed," Aaron says. "We're goin' runnin'."</p><p>"I'd prefer not to," Robert says, his free hand gripping Aaron's hip.</p><p>"You need exercise."</p><p>"Other ways to exercise," Robert replies, moving his thumb up under Aaron's top and hooking into the waistband of his shorts.</p><p>Aaron brings his hands up to grip Robert's hips and Robert thinks he's giving in, but as Robert swoops down to kiss him, Aaron pushes him away.</p><p>He looks coy and fit and everything Robert's ever wanted.</p><p>"Get dressed," Aaron says. "Now."</p><p> </p><p>They go running.</p><p>Nothing happens.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Saturday 15th April</b>
</p><p>They go running.</p><p>Nothing happens.</p><p> </p><p>He takes off his own bandages. All that's left of the burns are itchy splotches of pale red across his chest. He swigs the last of the blood in the vial and stays in bed all day.</p><p>He wishes Aaron was with him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Sunday 16th April</b>
</p><p>They don't go running.</p><p>Really nothing happens.</p><p> </p><p>He spends the morning thinking. Wanting. Waiting.</p><p> </p><p>Bex texts asking if he wants to see Seb, so he meets her and Emma in the café and he feels happy for the afternoon. Even with all the nosy people of the village looking. Knowing. Wondering.</p><p>"Don't think Chrissie's letting up," Emma says, as Robert bounces Seb on his lap.</p><p>He shrugs.</p><p>"You really don't care?" Bex asks, no sign of judgement.</p><p>"Not right now," Robert says, feeling whatever version of a heart he has swell as Seb giggles and grins up at him. "All I care about is him."</p><p>"Seb or…" Bex says, and Emma nudges her in warning while Robert just gives her an unimpressed look. "Oh, please, I know he cares about Seb. I know you care about Seb, Robert. But you have to decide what relationship you're going to fight for."</p><p>"Can you keep your voice down?" Robert says, through a forced smile of clenched teeth.</p><p>"I am."</p><p>She is.</p><p>"Why does he have to fight for either?" Emma asks.</p><p>"Exactly, why can't I just be single?" Robert asks.</p><p>"That doesn't really sound like you, does it?" Bex jokes.</p><p>"Okay, rude," Robert says.</p><p>"You know what you want though, don't you?" Bex asks, taking Seb as he reaches for her.</p><p>Robert leans back in his chair, lacing his fingers over his stomach and stretching his legs out and crossing his ankles, trying to look as laid back as possible, but he gives Bex a curt nod.</p><p>Bex looks at Emma and mouths <em> 'Aaron' </em>. </p><p>Emma says, "yeah, obviously."</p><p>"Do you two just spend all your time gossiping about me?"</p><p>"It's not like the rest of the village doesn't," Emma says.</p><p>"Well, I expect it of them."</p><p>"And you don't expect it of me?" Bex says. "I'm shocked, really."</p><p>"Okay, I take it back," Robert says. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Monday 17th April</b>
</p><p>They go running.</p><p>Nothing happens.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tuesday 18th April</b>
</p><p>They go running.</p><p>Nothing happens.</p><p>Well, he spends a good amount of time staring at Aaron's arse, but…</p><p>Nothing happens.</p><p> </p><p>He realizes he's barely spared a thought to Chrissie in the past few days, and hasn't once today. He thinks about Aaron. Seb. Bex and Emma. He thinks about Vic and Diane, even Adam. Liv, Aaron's little sister, smart as a whip and devoted to her brother. He thinks about Chas, the look of disappointment and disgust on her face, the worry for her son.</p><p>But Chrissie isn't on his mind at all. At least not in any meaningful way.</p><p>She is <em> now </em>, but it's only because he knows what needs to be done.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Wednesday 19th April</b>
</p><p>They go running.</p><p>Nothing happens until Robert, at the end of their run as they're walking out of the forest and up to the mill, grabs Aaron's arm and pulls him against a tree. He's already tired, Aaron's already breathless, but he kisses him hard, happily, soundly until Aaron's breathing is ragged and they pull away from each other.</p><p>Aaron takes a moment to recover, his hands fisted in Robert's shirt, his lips red and eyes looking up, pupils blown wide.</p><p>"What was that for?" </p><p>Aaron's spent the last several days being a little shit, winding Robert up, so Robert settles for winking at Aaron and simply walking away.</p><p>Aaron calls for him, but Robert only spares a glance over his shoulder, best shit-eating grin on his face and says, "I'll call you, yeah?"</p><p> </p><p>He goes to Home Farm.</p><p>He says he doesn't want a fight.</p><p>He tells Chrissie to get the divorce papers sorted.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Thursday 20th April</b>
</p><p>They don't go running. </p><p>Robert sleeps in and texts Aaron when he wakes up.</p><p>Aaron texts back, <em> you said you'd call </em>.</p><p>Robert smiles at his phone and calls him.</p><p>They don't talk about anything, really. They just talk.</p><p>But, "I'm getting a divorce," Robert says, and Aaron goes quiet on his end.</p><p>"Aaron?"</p><p>"You're serious?"</p><p>"Have to wait for the papers to be drawn up but, yeah," he says. "I'm getting a divorce."</p><p>"You came round to it quickly," Aaron says.</p><p>"You know why."</p><p>"Do I?"</p><p>"Aaron, we can't keep going in these circles," Robert says. "I told you I want to be with you, I told you I… I told you, okay? What more do you want me to do?"</p><p>"Nothing, sorry," Aaron says, sighing. "I know how you feel. It's just…"</p><p>"You really think you're that hard to love?"</p><p>"I <em> know </em>it's not an easy thing to do," Aaron says. "I'm a mess."</p><p>"So am I," Robert says. "You think <em> I'm </em> easy to love? Everyone hates me."</p><p>"Well, that's 'cause you're arrogant and a cheater."</p><p>"Thanks for that."</p><p>"It's still easy for me," Aaron says. "Don't know why. You're a nightmare."</p><p>"Takes one to know one."</p><p>"Shut up," Aaron laughs, then quietly, "Love ya."</p><p>Robert says nothing, doesn't know how.</p><p>Aaron settles for changing the subject.</p><p>"Adam's birthday tomorrow," he says. "Join us in the pub if you want."</p><p>"Gonna be dragged along by Vic anyway."</p><p>"We could make it a bit of a date," Aaron says. "No one has to know obviously."</p><p>"It's a date then."</p><p>"It's a date."</p><p> </p><p>Emma brings Seb over to Keeper's so Robert can spend the day with him. She stays for coffee and Robert keeps starting and stopping trying to talk to her. He knows what he wants to say. To ask. He's just having trouble getting the words out.</p><p>Emma seems to take pity on him and asks, "how's Aaron?"</p><p>"He's good, I think," Robert says, and looks down at Seb sleeping in his arms so he doesn't have to look at Emma. "Date tomorrow."</p><p>"Really?" Emma grins. "Are you thinking about coming out?"</p><p>"It's just because it's Adam's birthday tomorrow, so we'll see each other in the pub," Robert says. "It's not exactly a date. No one will even know."</p><p>"Sure it's a date," Emma says. "Just because you're the only ones aware that it's happening, doesn't mean it isn't real."</p><p>"That's interesting."</p><p>"What is?"</p><p>When it was just him and Aaron and no one knew he felt more real than he ever had, he wants to say. But if people knew he'd have to confront that.</p><p>People know now though. A select few, but people know. And it doesn't feel like the world is going to end.</p><p>"Nothing," he says. "You're bisexual, right?"</p><p>"Yeah," Emma says. "You think you're bi?"</p><p>Jesus, he doesn't want to say it, he's still so scared but…</p><p>Well, it <em> really </em> doesn't feel like the world is ending. This is Emma. It's okay to talk to Emma, he reminds himself. She's safe. Bex is safe.</p><p>"Might be," he says, quietly, nodding. "I'm not gay. I like women. I loved Bex once. And Katie. Even Chrissie, but…"</p><p>"Only after her money?" Emma says, smirking.</p><p>Robert rolls his eyes. It's self-deprecating. It's true. </p><p>"Is Aaron the only man you've ever been with?"</p><p>Robert coughs uncomfortably and nods.</p><p>"But you've had feelings for men in the past?" Emma says. "Been attracted to them?"</p><p>"Told myself I didn't," Robert says. "Just comfortable enough in my own masculinity that I can acknowledge when a bloke's good looking."</p><p>Emma nods, waits as Robert breathes, sorting out his feelings.</p><p>"Then I met Aaron and I couldn't pretend anymore."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"He wanted me back."</p><p>For the first time there had been possibility, he doesn't say. And for the first time he could be himself—sordid history, vampiric present, murky future and all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>be my friend &gt;&gt; @horrordykery (:</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. i'm not getting older, but i'm not getting younger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"I reckon I'm not getting any younger," Robert says, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. </p><p>"So…" Aaron says. "Whaddaya say we go back to the Mill? Have a drink? See what happens?"</p><p>"I kind of like it out here, actually," Robert says, looking around at the trees hanging over them.</p><p>"You wanna go for a run, then?" Aaron tries, already knowing the answer.</p><p>"No," says Robert, releasing Aaron and going to lean up against a tree. "I wanna see you shift."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so i wanted this to be the last chapter but... it just wasn't happening lol. anyway i've been thinking about this particular sequence for like weeks and i kept pushing it back and back and finally was like okay it has to happen now bc it's the last chapter but it's not even the last chapter anymore but anyway here's them getting up to unspeakable things in the forest.</p><p>chapter title is from headlights by squirrel flower.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The forest is quiet except for the soft rustle of the wind through the trees and Aaron and Robert's footsteps. Adam's party had been loud, lively, excited. Almost suffocating for Aaron knowing he couldn't <em> do </em> anything with Robert. Laugh, drink, play darts, but he wanted everyone to know he was <em> his </em>. Aaron's never been one for PDA, but it took all his being not to kiss Robert every time he looked at him over his pint. They knocked knees a bit, but didn't touch. Aaron wanted to touch his hand, his lips, his knee, wanted him more than he'd wanted anything in his life. </p><p>Now they're walking along a path in the forest, still not touching, just quiet; and Aaron's waiting for Robert to say something, since he's the one who asked him to go for a walk in the first place.</p><p>That morning, Aaron had decided to call Robert to wake him up for his run. Robert had told him off and gone back to sleep, promising to see him for their "date". That date being Adam's birthday party, of course. Loud and suffocating as it was. Robert must've been able to feel it. Especially if the looks he sent Aaron all evening were anything to go by.</p><p><em> "An evening run," </em> he'd said, but Aaron knew he wanted to talk.</p><p>He's just waiting on him now.</p><p>"You gonna say sommat?" Aaron says. "Or are we just gonna walk in silence all night?"</p><p>"I've been thinking," Robert says, stopping in his tracks.</p><p>"Okay," Aaron says, rounding in front of Robert and stopping, looking up at him.</p><p>"I'm a vampire," he says.</p><p>"I know," Aaron says, not entirely sure where he's going with this.</p><p>"It's one of the reasons we work," Robert says. "You know?"</p><p>"I know," Aaron says.</p><p>"You said before you couldn't do this with anyone else," Robert says. "There was no one else."</p><p>"And nothing's changed," Aaron says, wishing he'd get to the point.</p><p>Robert nods, pulling at Aaron's hoodie and Aaron goes willingly into Robert's arms. "I should've said then, I shouldn't have been so scared… We're lucky, Aaron."</p><p>"Lucky?"</p><p>"Yeah," Robert says, and he brings his hands to Aaron's face as Aaron winds his arms up behind Robert's head. They're breathing the same air, noses bumping, lips nearly touching. "But I'm a vampire."</p><p>"Yeah, you said," Aaron says, wanting Robert to stop teasing and kiss him already.</p><p>"I'm immortal," Robert says quietly. "You're not."</p><p>Aaron pulls back, rolling his eyes.</p><p>"What? You've brought this up before, Aaron. Doesn't it worry you?"</p><p>"Of course, it worries me," Aaron says. "It scares me to death."</p><p>"Funny," Robert says, a slight bitterness on his tongue.</p><p>"But I've thought about it too," Aaron says. "And I don't care. We might not be together forever. You might even die before me, who knows?"</p><p>"Well, if Lachlan's got any say, I'm sure I'll kick the bucket soon," Robert says.</p><p>"Time or no time, I want ya," Aaron says. "I'm sick of pretending, Robert. I'm sick of pretending I wouldn't do stupid things for ya."</p><p>"Me too," Robert says, and kisses him firmly, quickly, then pulls away. "Me too."</p><p>"I mean, you're gettin' divorced," Aaron says. "You're takin' the risks that count."</p><p>"I reckon I'm not getting any younger," Robert says, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. </p><p>"So…" Aaron says. "Whaddaya say we go back to the Mill? Have a drink? See what happens?"</p><p>"I kind of like it out here, actually," Robert says, looking around at the trees hanging over them.</p><p>"You wanna go for a run, then?" Aaron tries, already knowing the answer.</p><p>"No," says Robert, releasing Aaron and going to lean up against a tree. "I wanna see you shift."</p><p>"You what?"</p><p>"You've seen me in all my vampiric glory," Robert says. "What about you?"</p><p>"You've seen me wolf form," Aaron says.</p><p>"I'd like to see you when you're not attacking me outside your house," Robert says, crossing his arms.</p><p>Of course, he would.</p><p>Aaron thinks a moment, knowing he's going to do it, but liking to see Robert itch. Robert narrows his eyes at him waiting, like he’s been waiting for nearly a month. </p><p>Aaron leans against a tree next to Robert and leans down to start untying his boots.</p><p>“What’re you doing?” Robert asks and Aaron looks up at him through his lashes.</p><p>“These are nice clothes,” Aaron explains. “Don’t want ‘em gettin’ ripped when I shift.”</p><p>Robert smiles and watches as Aaron unties his boots and kicks them off to the side. Aaron pulls off his socks and goes to drop them by the shoes but Robert stops him—</p><p>"Put your socks in your shoes," he says.</p><p>"What am I, five?" Aaron says.</p><p>"Do you want to lose your socks out here?"</p><p>"I know where they are," Aaron says.</p><p>"Oh, for God's sake," Robert says, grabbing the socks from Aaron's hands and stuffing them into his boots, then sitting the boots upright and side by side. "There."</p><p>"You're ridiculous."</p><p>"I'm neat," Robert says, leaning back against the tree. He gestures an arm towards Aaron and smirks, "continue."</p><p>Aaron rolls his eyes, but keeps going. Hoodie, t-shirt, jeans, each taken and folded by Robert and placed over Aaron's boots, until Aaron's standing only in his boxer briefs. Robert's mouth has gone slightly slack, his eyes intent on moving up and down Aaron's body. He feels the gaze burning into him, warm syrupy longing taking over his skin</p><p>"You're shameless," Aaron says, slightly breathless. He goes over to Robert and kisses him, sloppy and dirty and then pulls off and away abruptly. Robert leans in and grabs at him for more, but Aaron turns around to lean over. He <em> knows </em> Robert's watching him with his eyes gone red, can practically feel them following his hands over the curve of his arse as he slides his pants down and tosses them over to the rest of his clothes.</p><p>And, Jesus, they're <em> outside </em>. </p><p>They've done it lots of places, but never properly outside, and Aaron isn't dumb enough to not know what's coming. </p><p>They're going to fuck. </p><p>In the woods. </p><p>He's going to shift first though. Give Robert the chance to see the way his shoulder blades roll back and his spine breaks, and his bones move and change.</p><p>Aaron drops to his knees, digging his claws into the soil, and transforms.</p><p>He turns and sits on his back legs, looking up at Robert who's looking down at him in wonder. He cocks his head, <em> penny for your thoughts. </em> Robert comes forward tentatively and kneels down in front of Aaron. He brings his hands up hesitantly, clearly unsure of what to do, what's alright. </p><p>Aaron huffs and headbutts against Robert's hand, <em> you can touch me </em>. He gets comfortable, sitting in the dirt cross-legged, hands gripping at the fur on Aaron's neck and then sliding up to his ears.</p><p>"Why don't you shift during the day?" Robert asks, but Aaron just sniffs. "No psychic link then?"</p><p>Aaron tilts his head and narrows his eyes at him. </p><p>"Some vampires can read minds, y'know," Robert says, this time stroking a thumb up Aaron's snout and between his eyes.</p><p>
  <em> Oh really. </em>
</p><p>"I can't," Robert says. "And Lawrence and Chrissie can't. Reckon Chrissie and I never would've gotten married if they could. Lawrence probably wouldn't have hired me in the first place. Would've known I was rubbish at the job..."</p><p>
  <em> Bet you're still rubbish, just a great pretender. </em>
</p><p>Robert's hands stop moving and come down to rest in his lap, while Aaron stays still and watches him.</p><p>"Think everyone at the party's wondering where we are?"</p><p>Aaron shakes his head. </p><p>Robert checks his watch and raises his eyebrows.</p><p>"Well," he says, turning his wrist to show Aaron the watch face, "it's past midnight. Happy birthday to me."</p><p>Aaron shifts back slowly until his knees are sinking into the dirt, and his filthy fingernails crawl their way up to Robert's legs. He anchors himself on Robert's thighs and rocks forward to drag his nose along Robert's neck and jaw, wolf senses still in play as he scent-marks him, until their lips are touching and he whispers, "happy birthday," against them.</p><p>Robert surges ahead and swallows Aaron's words with a bite to his bottom lip. Aaron groans into Robert's mouth, claws coming back out to dig into Robert's thighs through his jeans.</p><p>"<em> Fuck </em>," Robert sighs, and Aaron feels hands slide over his ribs, pushing and holding him so Robert can uncross his legs and get up onto his knees.</p><p>Robert's arms wrap around him, one hand sliding down over his arse, the other's fingers wide between his shoulder blades. Their making out is messy and hard, teeth knocking together, moans sharp through their lips. </p><p>"This is gonna destroy our knees," Aaron breathes into Robert's mouth.</p><p>"I'll heal."</p><p>"Yeah, but I want ya to fuck me," Aaron says and Robert stills.</p><p>The next thing he knows, Aaron is on his feet with his back pressed against the rough bark of a tree, and Robert is sliding two fingers into his mouth. He sucks at them, weaving his tongue through them, and starts tearing at Robert's clothes, ripping a few buttons in the process of finally getting his shirt off. He runs his hands over Robert's chest, now entirely healed, and gets a few good scratches in. He moans around Robert's fingers, needing Robert to touch him. Jerk him off or blow him or <em> something </em>. So, he bites at Robert's fingers, holds eye contact, and brings a hand up to drag Robert's fingers from his mouth slowly.</p><p>No psychic link, but Robert can tell what Aaron wants. He drops to his knees and takes Aaron's dick into his mouth. He slides his spit-wet fingers behind Aaron's balls and starts circling his hole as he sucks him down. Aaron presses his shoulders hard into the tree so he can push out his hips and start to fuck himself down on the finger Robert's finally pushed inside of him. </p><p>It's several torturous minutes of Robert's lips slowly moving over his dick, and his fingers barely stroking inside him, before Aaron's had enough and tugs at Robert's hair.</p><p>"If you don't fuck me now, I'm gonna go find someone else to do it," he rasps, as Robert slides off his dick, tongue running along the underside until he's only a breath away and gazing up at Aaron with a cocky smirk on his face.</p><p>"No, you won't," Robert says, slowly getting to his feet, fingers crawling over Aaron's thighs which have started to shake and go weak.</p><p>"You wanna bet?" Aaron challenges, as Robert pulls him forward and then spins him. Aaron props his forearm up against the tree, hearing Robert undo his belt and unzip his jeans.</p><p>Suddenly Robert's plastered against him, his cock hard against his tailbone, and his lips kissing up his neck.</p><p>"I'll win," Robert whispers right in his ear. "You love me."</p><p>Aaron shivers, leaning his forehead into his arm. He reaches up and around with his other arm to grab at Robert's neck, fist his fingers in his hair, encouraging him to bite into his shoulder.</p><p>"You sure?" Robert says, a drag of lips and teeth at the base of his neck.</p><p>"I want you," Aaron says, never more sure of anything in his life. "I want all of you."</p><p>It isn't long before Robert's fucking into him, teeth in Aaron's shoulder and hand on Aaron's dick. Aaron feels like he's on fire. Aaron feels like he wants to howl at the moon. Aaron feels like he's so in love he might die; and he would die happy here in the woods with Robert inside of him, drinking him and dragging his teeth and tongue over his skin.</p><p>Aaron claws into the bark, both hands dragging against the tree, as Robert fucks him deep and slow. Robert's arms are tight around Aaron when he comes, and Aaron follows along quickly after, a growl embarrassingly escaping his lips. </p><p>Aaron leans one arm on the tree, his head lulling against his wrist. His other arm comes up to rest over Robert's arms wrapped protectively around his chest. Robert is placing soft kisses over his shoulders, pressing into the bruises and bites, up his neck, and then to his jaw.</p><p>"Fuck," Aaron says. "That was--"</p><p>"I love you," Robert says abruptly, yet soft, intimate, against Aaron's cheek. </p><p>"I know," Aaron says, tightening his fingers over one of Robert's wrists and pulling him against his back even more. "I love you too."</p><p> </p><p>Aaron feels giddy as they head back to the Mill hand in hand. They're filthy. Covered in dirt and grime and tree bark from the woods, and Aaron loves it. It feels so real to be out in the open, to fuck with no worries, to groan and shout against each other as it echoes through the forest. Aaron loves this. He loves <em> him </em>.</p><p>They shower at the Mill, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake up Liv, but knowing the sound of the water beating down might do that anyway. They exchange slow indulgent hand jobs under the heat of the water and try to keep soap out of their mouths while making out against the wet wall, laughing into each other's mouths.</p><p>Aaron can see a future of this. Fuck all the obstacles, there is a future and Aaron is going to have it. He's going to take everything because he knows he has everything now. Robert is <em> his </em>. </p><p>They curl up together in bed, naked and happy, and Aaron falls asleep in Robert's arms.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>my horoscope told me i should make friends but it should also tell me to stop changing my twitter @ so now i'm at @aarondingle420 bc i'm the king of stoner dykes for aaron dingle thanks for coming to my tedtalk</p><p>"jimmy," you may ask, "how do you write sex between two dudes if you're a big lesbian." and to you i reply, "i genuinely have no idea because i feel nothing."</p><p>anyway happy friday i have to go do homework.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. you're my bright side / don't leave me in the dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Acceptance AND a coming out? This is the best birthday ever!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter title are lyrics from fighter by joseph.</p><p>much to say in the end notes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> i told vic you pulled bc im guessing that is exactly what you did mate, </em>the text from Adam reads. </p><p>Robert had texted Adam to give Vic an excuse as to why he hadn't made it back to Keeper's last night, not wanting to worry her but not wanting to cause a fuss either. </p><p><em> Yeah, my boyfriend </em> Robert types out and sends without even thinking. He's not even realized the weight of it until he gets a reply from Adam:</p><p>
  <em> so it's official then?  </em>
</p><p><em> not talking about this with you! </em>he sends back and puts his cell back on Aaron's nightstand before throwing an arm back around Aaron and pressing against his back.</p><p>He falls back asleep, knowing they’re both going to get a late start but not caring at all.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Now that he’s said it, he can’t stop.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Against his lips, into his neck, pulling at his hair after Aaron’s woken him up by getting his mouth around his cock. </p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>While Aaron is making coffee, the only thing in the kitchen he seems to be remotely good at, and Robert comes up behind him to wrap his arms around Aaron’s front and bury his nose in his neck. </p><p>“I love you,” Aaron replies, spinning in Robert’s arms so they can drag their lips together in a way that’s definitely too dirty for midday in the kitchen.</p><p>They’re snogging like teenagers when Liv appears, loudly saying “ew”.</p><p>Robert surprises himself by not jumping away, worried, horrified at being caught out. Instead he drags himself back, put upon, rolling his eyes, and then presses his forehead against Aaron’s.</p><p>Aaron, however, gives him one last quick kiss before pulling away and going to pour their coffees, grabbing a mug for Liv as well.</p><p>“Sorted everything then?” Liv says, sitting at the kitchen table, giving both of them a knowing shit-eating grin.</p><p>“Problem?” Robert says, sitting down across from her, clasping his hands and leaning forward on his elbows.</p><p>“Just wanna see my brother happy,” Liv replies, disinterestedly. “But if you hurt him, I will kill ya.”</p><p>“Consider me warned,” Robert says.</p><p>“I wouldn’t put it past her, that,” Aaron says. “Knowing her, she’d rope in Gabby and Jacob, and the teen wolves round here are like a cult.”</p><p>“Oh, Gabby can get anyone to do her bidding,” Robert says. “That’s for sure.”</p><p>“Right, so you better watch out,” Liv says, as Aaron slides her mug over and places one in front of Robert.</p><p>He sits down with his own coffee and proceeds to raise his eyebrows at Liv.</p><p>“Speaking of Gabby,” he says.</p><p>“There’s nothing to say,” Liv says and looks down at her coffee for a long moment.</p><p>“You sure?” Aaron says.</p><p>“Don’t wanna talk about it in front of him,” Liv says, nodding towards Robert.</p><p>“Although the suspense at what all this is about is killing me,” Robert says. “I respect that. Leave her alone, yeah?”</p><p>Liv smiles at him. “I think I like him,” she says, and it makes Robert feel something he hasn’t felt in a while…</p><p>Comfortable. At home. Wanted.</p><p>He thinks he likes her too. Loves her brother, gobby, could probably take him in a fight. Interesting what a little family can do.</p><p>Robert glances over at Aaron, seeing his barely there smile he has when he’s perfectly content. Robert did that. He makes Aaron happy, as happy as Aaron makes him, and Robert thinks he could make a life out of this. Just him, Aaron, and Liv in the Mill, happier than any of them have ever been.</p><p>“I love you,” he says quietly to Aaron again, because he can’t stop. Because he loves him. Because Aaron needs to know it’s him and no one else.</p><p>“And that’s my cue to leave,” Liv says, pushing her chair out and standing up. “I’m meeting Gabby in the caf.”</p><p>“You ain’t finished your coffee yet,” Aaron says.</p><p>“Yeah, ‘cause if you keep carryin’ on like this, I’m gonna pour it on ya,” Liv says.</p><p>“You gonna talk to Gabby then?” Aaron calls after her, once she’s got her hand on the door.</p><p>“Shut up!” Liv says, opening the door and heading out.</p><p>It doesn’t close and Liv is popping her head in a second later and saying, “But yeah, I’m gonna talk to her. Also I’m gay. Bye.” before closing the door and leaving Aaron and Robert to share a look.</p><p>“Wow, approval and a coming out,” Robert says. “This birthday’s going great so far.”</p><p>“You’re an idiot,” Aaron says, but he turns in his chair and leans over to press a firm kiss to Robert’s lips.</p><p>“Yeah, you too,” Robert says, and kisses him back.</p><p> </p><p>When he gets back to Keeper's, no one's home. He goes about showering and changing and then decides to head to the Woolie. </p><p>"You pulled someone in the village?" Vic asks. </p><p>They're in the kitchen, Vic cooking and plating, and Robert just trying to find out what the plan for tonight is.</p><p>"You've not even got divorce papers yet, Robert," Vic says.</p><p>"It's not like I've ever been a saint," Robert says, caught between defensive and honestly not really blaming her. </p><p>"Well, I guess we wouldn't have Seb if you had been," says Vic, arranging parsley to her very high standards. "Still, it does seem a bit soon to be throwing yourself at some random woman. Who even was it?"</p><p>"About that…" Robert says, bracing himself for the confession he's about to make. Knowing there's no going back now, but wanting Vic to know before the rest of the village. </p><p>Vic looks suspicious.</p><p>"I've been seeing someone," he says.</p><p>"While you were with Chrissie?" Vic says, surprised, as if they hadn't just touched on Robert's unfortunate pattern of cheating and homewrecking. </p><p>"I'm not proud of it," Robert says. "And it wasn't planned, but… It's—<em>he's </em> what I want. I'm sure of it now."</p><p>"He?" Vic says, and she doesn't seem shocked, or judgemental, just interested.</p><p>"Yeah," Robert says through a sigh. "<em> He </em>. I'm bisexual."</p><p>"Oh, Robert," she says, and goes to throw her arms around him tight. "Thanks for tellin' me. I'm so proud of ya."</p><p>He hugs her back, relieved, accepted. Happy to have her.</p><p>However, she pulls away with narrowed eyes, looking him up and down.</p><p>"Who is he?"</p><p>"Oh, I think you know," Robert says, because it's got to be clicking for her now. They haven't exactly been subtle the past few days.</p><p>She goes back to plating, clearly thinking hard, until her eyes go wide and she looks at Robert with her mouth hanging open.</p><p>"<em> Aaron?!" </em> she says, in a dramatic stage whisper.</p><p>"It snuck up on us," he says, shrugging. </p><p>"Well, I'm made up for yous, obviously," Vic says. "But oh my god. I didn't suspect a thing."</p><p>"Well, you thought I was straight," Robert says. "And married."</p><p>"You were married," Vic says. "<em> Are </em> married—Wait, does Chrissie know?"</p><p>"No, she filed for divorce because of Bex and Seb," Robert says. "She knows I was seeing someone, but she doesn't know any of the details. Or that it's as important as it is."</p><p>"Do you love him?"</p><p>"Yeah," he says, and can't help the grin that spreads across his face, watching as Vic mirrors the expression. "Yeah, I really do."</p><p>"Look at ya," Vic says. "Got a son, a boyfriend, and you're nearly divorced."</p><p><em> Yeah, </em> Robert thinks. <em> Who would have thought that I'd gain more from losing everything I've worked for? </em></p><p>He doesn't like to admit it, but he is terribly sentimental. And romantic.</p><p>Speaking of romance, he'd <em> like </em> to have a quiet night in with Aaron but, knowing Vic and Diane, there's going to be a party at the Woolpack. And he'll just have to suck it up. So will everyone who hates him as well, since they never seem to leave the Woolie. Chas in particular, considering she's the co-proprietor. She is <em> not </em>going to like hearing about him and Aaron. </p><p>Well, suck it up, Chas. Robert loves your son.</p><p> </p><p>Robert really doesn’t see the point in celebrating his 31st birthday. On his 30th, he was almost married and he and Chrissie spent a weekend in Paris. That was a pretty fair celebration for turning 30. 31 is hardly worth an afternoon at the Eiffel Tower with your partner, but it’s apparently the perfect time to spend an evening in your step-mum’s pub while trying not to eyefuck your werewolf lover through a sea of bodies crammed together singing varying keys of ‘Happy Birthday’. Robert is <em> not </em> amused. He’s had a couple shots that have done nothing for him, and he’s had Andy slap him on the back in a shockingly brotherly way and wish him many happy returns. If alcohol had any effect on him, he might not have seized up at the feeling of Andy touching him and making an effort even with Katie sending death glares from her seat in the corner. He, of course, has no such luck.</p><p>Vampirism would probably fare better if alcohol was effective, but he gets to live forever or whatever. Which is good. Obviously. Objectively. Robert wishes he was drunk though.</p><p>He wishes even more that he was at the Mill with Aaron. Order in, watch a film, and have slow luxurious sex in Aaron’s bed. </p><p>His eyes are glazing over getting lost in thinking about the sounds Robert can get Aaron to make if he rims him, when Chrissie tosses a folder on the bar in front of him.</p><p>“Robert,” she says, coldly. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”</p><p>“You kicked me out,” Robert says, bitterly—he’s more bitter about being interrupted from his daydreaming than the being kicked out part… Although he is still definitely bitter about that.</p><p>“You cheated,” Chrissie replies.</p><p>“I remember,” he says.</p><p>After a moment of Chrissie just looking at him, and Robert watching punters empty out of the pub, he gets bored.</p><p>“Well, lovely to see you,” Robert says. “Thanks for the divorce papers, I’ll look over them with my solicitor.”</p><p>Chrissie nods sharply, keeping her composure as the ice queen intact as the whole pub seems to have frozen and turned their heads to see what happens. The last time Chrissie had come in here she’d kicked off and outed him as a vampire. And a cheat, but most people in the village are already aware of his lurid past, so that wasn’t the shock they got. However, Seb was definitely a shock. Still is.</p><p>Aaron, Vic, and Adam are sitting together in a booth and are obviously watching intently, but trying to cover it with their drinks. Idiots. The lot of them. He tries not to smile fondly and shoot Aaron a smirk and shake his head. He only narrowly avoids it when:</p><p>“I’d like to know one thing though,” she says. “Who’s A?”</p><p>Robert says nothing, more focused now on the sound of someone spluttering their drink and coughing. </p><p>“Because Lachlan says he heard you and Rebecca arguing about texts on your phone,” Chrissie says. “With someone called ‘A’. Who I’m assuming is a woman you’ve been having an affair with.”</p><p><em> No one </em> , he could say. <em> Bex misinterpreted the texts. </em></p><p>But he and Chrissie were already divorcing. Everyone’s eyes were on them, hot on his heels for the answer. Aaron looks worried. He can feel Bex’s and Emma’s eyes on him from where they’re sitting in a booth behind him with Seb. Well, if Seb wasn’t the shock of the century, surely this will be. </p><p>He’s just come out to Vic. Most of the people who <em> count </em> know already. And in truth, there aren’t a lot of people who count anyway. He cheated. With Aaron. A man, a werewolf. And he fell in love.</p><p>And he loved Chrissie once. He truly did. She deserves to know.</p><p>He slips his phone out of his pocket, brings up Aaron’s contact, and presses the call button. He catches Aaron preemptively stuff his hand in his hoodie pocket to grab the phone, ready for it to ring. It’s an agonizing few seconds before Aaron’s phone starts buzzing, and Chrissie whips her head around to where Aaron, looking incredibly uncomfortable (he’ll have to make it up to him later), is pulling his phone from his pocket and declining the call.</p><p>Chrissie looks back at Robert confused, but Robert stays serious, takes a deep breath, and charges forward.</p><p>“I’ve been seeing Aaron since January,” he says. “And we’re going to stay together.”</p><p>“You’re gay?” Chrissie says, in a voice somewhere between disgust and disbelief. </p><p>“No,” Robert says. “I’m bisexual. And if you’ll excuse me, I’d really like to go home with my boyfriend now. Because it is my birthday and I’m getting quite bored of pretending this beer is hitting me.”</p><p>He looks over to Aaron, who’s smiling surrounded by multiple other smiling faces—and Andy who just looks out of his depth.</p><p>“Aaron?” he says, and Aaron hops up, quickly chugging the dregs of his pint. “Back to the Mill?”</p><p>“I’ll stay at Gabby’s tonight,” Liv says. “Teen wolf meeting anyway.”</p><p>Robert grabs Aaron’s hand and pulls him in to kiss him quick but firm, pouring all the love in him into Aaron.</p><p>"Well, that was sufficiently dramatic," he hears Rebecca say as he and Aaron head out hand in hand.</p><p>They don’t stay around to watch the carnage unfold.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well this is it... it's over. and i feel very bittersweet about it you know. but i'm just gonna leave y'all with so many thank yous. to everyone who's been reading this since the beginning, to those just finding it now, to those in the future who stumble upon it and are like "finally, someone who understands robert is the king of all chaotic bisexual vampires". i do understand that. thank you so much. </p><p>now, i'm not really comfortable replying to comments i don't know why. it just feels weird for me, but that doesn't mean i don't want to talk to you obviously. i have my curiouscat linked on my twitter (@aarondingle420) if you have any pressing questions about the fic or me or ykno whatever lol. </p><p>anyway, now that that's over. i do have plans for other fic. i have maybe plans for more fic in this universe or similar universes. for now just stay tuned and whomst knows !!! </p><p>love u all so much. so long for now.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0xHt6TJjGErRkFvtI3804t?si=99VJzG3XSF-JUZ82_rXXxg">fic playlist</a>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>@ayayrondingle on twitter and lesbianrebeccawhite on tumblr (i'm on tumblr less btw)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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